Monday, March 8, 2010

Faith Flew.

It's funny how one thinks the story is over when really, it has only just begun.

I thought about how amazingly orchestrated the entire series of events was- how the bicycle, Faith, was linked to Alisha, which was linked to my faith in God, which was linked to A Taste of Rainbow, which was linked to a real rainbow, which was linked to my illness, which was linked to pride, which was linked to Kitesong, which was linked to my dreams as a kid... and it made me marvel at the thought that perhaps, God really did plan everything from beginning to the end, at the moment we were born.

There was a nationwide cycling race on Sunday which I didn't sign up for because I thought it was a little too expensive. To be honest, I was afraid. Afraid of crashing my new bike, afraid of riding 40km by myself amidst an angry mob of adrenalin-filled athletes and afraid that it exposed my insecurity about missing church.

But J, a dear friend, gave me a free race seat under her husband's name because he didn't want to participate anymore. It turned out that I could attend church on Saturday instead, and the race began so early that I would have more than enough time to make it for the sunday school class I had to teach in the late morning. So I went.

And Faith flew.

I didn't know my race number was in the competitive category so when I got there, and found myself in the midst of a group of muscular, charged-up and competitive-looking men, I started to wonder if I had been crazy. On my first mini-triathlon race, I had fallen off my bike because I didn't brake hard enough on a sharp hairpin turn. This nationwide race had 5400 cyclists, and was well-known for causing crashes. On the day, many people suffered falls, fractures, bike accidents.

God, it'll be a miracle if I don't fall off Faith.

Cyclist after cyclist overtook me. There were only a handful of female cyclists in sight. I couldn't draft (cycle close to someone so as to cut out the headwind for an easier ride), and my legs were burning from the starting point from the 70km training ride and swim I did a day ago. What a mistake, I thought. Never train a day before race day if you don't want to perform badly.

Nonetheless, this race was special because it was my first race on Faith. It was special because my wheels were faulty and J had to lend me hers, reminding me again that our faith really is built up not by ourselves, but by our friends and loved ones, too. It was special because for the first time, I raced and pushed myself till the very end, instead of giving up and losing steam at the last leg, which I have done so for almost all my previous races. I remembered what J told me- keep pushing till the very end. Always do your best. Always.
I had never been on a bicycle so light before. For once, I could reach the brakes and they didn't screech. For once, the gears changed smoothly without causing trouble.

My friends had done so much for me to own a bike I could enjoy. They gave me a new jersey which I wore that day, a new triathlon suit, new tyres, a bike light, a bike pouch. One of them, Batman, even drove to my place one day to pass me a custom-made decal sticker so my name would be on my bicycle. And instead of selling her race seat, J, knowing I would otherwise not partcipate in the cycling race, chose to pass it on to me. So my legs were burning, even from the very beginning of the race, but faith helped to see me till the end.

I learnt, that our faith, when built in us by our loved ones, can make us fly. I also learnt, that our faith never quite comes full circle till the day we die- for just when I thought Faith, the bicycle, was completed, I learnt that my wheel hub was faulty and had to be sent back to the store. I learnt, that the perfection of our Faith is an ongoing process, indeed. A lot of patience is needed.

When I got to church to teach my 7-year olds, I shared with them some photos of my new bicycle, because they had insisted I show them what God had blessed me with, especially since they had been following the trailer.

"WOW JIEJIE (big sister) WAIJIA, IS THAT REAL? THAT BICYCLE- IT'S REAL?"

"Yes dear Isaiah, of course it's real," I smiled.

And I just thank God for reminding me time and again of His blessings, that I received this all not because of my own ability or doing, but simply, because of His grace. Over my birthday, I received everything I ever needed and more- Aunty M said she'd paid for my skincare which'd last me till the end of the year. I realised, that it amounted to more than a thousand dollars. I hardly even know her. But God knows how training in the sun and the stress of medical school really ruins my skin- and so He chose to provide for me.
With faith, we can believe that He will provide for all our needs.

It reminded me so clearly of what Aunty Ay had shared with me many months back when God gave my bike money away- that He is no man's debtor. When we give up, surely He will return us measure for measure, pressed down and overflowing.

Today, the race results were out. My name wasn't on the list because it was under my friend's husband's name. Taking the timing, I put it against the results of my age group and was shocked to realise that it was 7th in place of 161 participants in my category had I registered under my name.

Seventh. 7th.

Nothing to shout about, but I secretly thanked God that my name wasn't there, a safeguard against my own pride. To be honest, if I had signed up by myself, I don't think I would've done as well. Part of my strength came from knowing the faith J had in me, to want to give up her race seat for me when she could've sold it off easily.

Thank you for the bicycle, guys. More than a beautiful ride, it has blessed me with your friendship, a community I can rely on, a very special story to cherish and to tell. (On Sunday after church service, people kept coming up to ask me if I had talked to senior pastor lately. I didn't know, that while I was teaching at sunday school, senior pastor told the congregation that he met a girl that week, a 4th year medical student, who told him a story which impacted him so deeply. I smiled, because I had shared with him the story of Finding Faith and what God had done in my life.)
Just a little more than a year back, I didn't even know how to cycle on 2 wheels, because I was too afraid. Just a year ago, every ride I rode was a big act of faith. Thank you for giving me more than a bicycle, but also courage and faith- in myself.

It was an awesome ride. And even more awesome to be there with you all. It was a surprise to receive a medal at the end.

Faith flew. And, I didn't fall.



"Without faith,

a man can do nothing;

With it,

all things are possible."

- Sir William Osler

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