Did you know, that we have 120 million rods found in our retinas, but only 6 million cones? We have 20 times as many receptors responsible for helping us see in dim light, rods that is, as compared to those which function in bright light.
When one walks at once from a place of sunny brightness into a dark room, the stark and sudden contrast can sting one's eyes. It is terribly uncomfortable, and the sheer and utter darkness can apprehend you. You feel vulnerable, out of control, and lost-anything could grab at you now without you knowing. You feel like holding on to something, but what is there around you? It feels like you've lost your sight, like you've been blinded and handicapped, and oh, how you long to return to the place of sunny brightness, of techni-coloured illumination and iridescent clarity.
In the brightness of the sun, we see God in everything- the green of trees, the majesty of clouds, and the blooming bundles of flowers. But in the darkness, where are you God? Just, where are you?
And we forget, that God made our eyes with 20 times as many rods as cones. All it takes is a little patience for us to stay in the dark before our eyes become adjusted to the new environment. The discomfort never leaves, for we were made for bright and happy things, like flowers and sun and children's swings. But wait, and see if your eyes pick up jewels in the dark that you would otherwise not see in the candid openness of the sun.
Rods are activated even in the presence of a single photon (the tiniest unit) of light, while cones respond only in the presence of many, many more.
There are things that you will only see in the dark, gems and jewels hidden underneath an inky sea of sooty blackness, that you will never be able to see in the day. Treasures of darkness.
I met a beautiful lady at church, who enthralls me with the richness of her wisdom and grace, as well as her fascinating stories. I love stories. I love listening to her too- she has a way of speaking, deliberately and emphatically, like a mother telling a fairytale to her child, which makes her stories ever more charming and alluring. She never tells me when she's about to start on one, so when she does, it grips you like a good novel, until she reaches the end, when the skies part to reveal illuminated wisdom in its full glory on areas which used to be merely sun-dappled, or shadowy.
One day, she took me out for breakfast at a lovely bakery and told me a story, in that deliberate, leisurely pace which allows one to bask in.
"Once," she said, "my husband and I took our three children to New Zealand for a holiday... I was so excited because I wanted to see what a kiwi bird really looked like. Oh, but they weren't interested, so haha, I sneaked in by myself into the exhibit centre." She paused to laugh.
" Oh my, it was so dark, I couldn't see anything! Had to hold on to the railings so I wouldn't trip and fall in the cave... My family kept hurrying me as they were waiting outside, but the attendants there had told me I needed to stay in the darkness of the cave for at least 10 minutes before I'd see a kiwi bird. I waited, and waited- I was so impatient! My family was waiting outside wondering what I'd been up to, and I wanted to get out quickly. But I decided to wait it out. I had to be very, very still, and quiet, too. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard a rustle, and lo and behold, I saw the beauties emerge from the darkness. First their outline, and then their entire beings came into view. The kiwi birds- they were such gems, you know... I was ecstatic! Surely, I thought, they were worth the wait!"
My eyebrows tightened into a quizzical frown.
" My dear, it's hard to stay in the dark. We want to get out because it feels so uncomfortable. Our eyes just aren't accustomed to it. But when you stay patiently in the blackness and just wait and be still, slowly, your eyes accomodate to the dark and the night vision allows you to see the hidden treasures- treasures that you'd never ever see in the day. Just like my kiwi bird."
My eyebrows knit together even more tightly. And then, the skies parted.
"Same thing for you, Wai Jia. It's so uncomfortable to be where you're at now. But be still, and as you grow accustomed to this new season that you're in, you will be amazed at what you will learn and find. All these hidden jewels and gems- treasures of darkness, I call them."
And it made me think- Nature has a beautiful way of creating only that which serves its purpose. It hardly leaves room for waste. Surely there is reason why we have 120 million rods in our eyes to aid us for vision in dimness, compared to only 6 million cones for vision in brightness. What a great difference of 20 times. It occurred to me- that perhaps, this, just like This, has a reason-
- God created that many more rods in our eyes to aid us in dimness, and in the dark. But if only we would be still! If only we would give them some time to get adjusted to the darkness of the valley we find ourselves in, and not waste time groping, choking and getting all hot and flustered, as I often do. It takes patience, perseverence, and a trusting to know that even in the darkness, God has not abandoned us, or left us as orphans, even if we cannot see bright and happy things, like green trees, fluffy clouds or children's swings.
In the despairing nights, I have learnt, and am still learning, precious lessons of humility, faith, trust and patience which I would otherwise never have learnt in the daytime; In the shadows, I have learnt to use my night vision to see the outline of His wing which so covers me and shields me; In the inky blanket of blackness, I have uncovered sparkling jewels, gems and lifelong friends.
So don't be afraid. Trust that God is just by you. Sometimes, it's difficult to- I know, for I, too, struggle at those times. But try and be still, be quiet, and keep your eyes open. Because you never know what you might find.
Such precious treasures of darkness.
“I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places…”
-Isaiah 45: 3
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