Everybody has some reason of their own for loving, in spite of the certainty of it sometimes being unrequited. When you smile at a Stranger, at a random sick patient in a hospital ward, or a busker by a busy roadside, isn't that in some way, a form of giving out unrequited love, too? We do it, hardly out of the motivation of wanting it returned to us.
If human beings are truly creatures motivated by reward, then what is the reason behind this strange phenomenon?
For surely, to give out unrequited love is not a factor for survival. We all need love to live, but surely, wouldn't you think we could live without this foolishness of giving away something which will hardly be reciprocated? After all, cynics survive and get by, don't they?
God's word says that even the worst person in the world would love those who loved them- but what is striking, rather, is the person who loves those who do not love them, who hate them, even.
Our lives are filled with millions of opportunities for these acts of kindness, and it is in our tiniest acts of giving out unrequited acts of kindness, the tiniest ones, which really define who we are.
Did you walk past a blind busker today? A blind man on a busy roadside, trapped in his own visionless world of darkness- or did you pass him by and by your apathy, turn him invisible?
Did you look at a middle-aged woman standing on the train today, her feet aching from her heels and her body, tired from the demands of a day-job and housework at night, slumped against a metal pole? Did you rationalise that you deserved the seat you were on far more than she did?
Or worse, did it not cross your mind at all.
Do these million tiny things which present themselves as opportunities for random acts of loving, without reciprocation, cross our minds every day, or have we hardened our hearts to them?
For every opportunity, whether taken a hold of or not, changes our hearts, whether we want them to or not. Our every decision to every opportunity presented to us defines who we are, who we become- even those we choose to shrug our shoulders at.
Our hearts either harden, or soften- there is no in between.
Very often, we only remember the big things in life- the big Goods that we do, and the big Bads we commit. But if life is made of big moments we remember, then what happens to the tiny ones we forget?
This is what happens- they define us, change our hearts- forever. It is in our tiniest acts of loving, loving without return, which cause our hearts to stay aglow, alive and pulsing each day, or if neglected, become crystallized, ossified, and hardened beyond redemption.
In our busy lives walking along the business district and the busy malls, how many needy people have we passed by, with nary a glance at them? We give ourselves the excuse of being too busy, but in actual fact... so tell me- what will you do with that extra minute of time saved from not stopping for someone who needed it. We drive on the roads like drunk, angry bastards, cutting a lane sharply here, honking at a hogger in front, cursing at the driver in front of us who drives just as well as ourselves- all in the grand name of saving time. We saved ten seconds from that first lane cut, another ten from the second, saved half a minute from waking up that sleepy road-hogger, and another ten seconds from overtaking the other lousy driver. One grand, whole minute saved (or rather, fifty-nine seconds, when you took a sec to glare at the irresponsible pedestrian you zoomed past.)
A WHOLE MINUTE SAVED! ONE WHOLE MINUTE! SIXTY SECONDS OF EXTRA TIME! Did you know the maginificent exploits, groundbreaking frontiers and important tasks one could do with AN EXTRA SIXTY SECONDS saved?
Wow. Mindblowing.
It's true. In that one second we chose to walk by, to walk by for the sake of that precious sixty seconds saved, something big does happen. Our hearts harden. And it only becomes a matter a of time before an entire fortress is built around it, and the poor, the needy, the unloveable become completely invisible to our eyes.
It might seem really stupid at first to turn around. Come on, you've walked past the fellow, you've a place to go, people to meet, you don't have time for this nonsense- besides, you'll remember next time.
Sure, you'll remember next time. But remember that your heart changes every time, whether you wish for it or not. So if you feel that tug on your heart, don't go forward any longer, turn back. Turn around and walk a hundred metres to that old man with good eyesight sitting by the road with a fake white cane, offer the lady with dyed red hair in front of you a seat even though she's been standing there for 15 minutes (perhaps you took that long to struggle within yourself- I know I have!), and maybe, say from the bottom of your heart, that you're really sorry anyway for a harsh word you said.
It may seem really foolish to turn around. It's not like you have anything tangible to gain. Why can't I mind my own business, everybody should take care of their own world, shouldn't they? This giving-your-heart-to-people business entangles life too much, makes things so complicated. You know why you get heartbroken so easily? It's because you give your heart away. Learn from your lesson, keep it close by you and it'll remain intact, good as new. What's this nonsense about turning around.
But when you do turn around, things are turned inside-out, and upside-down. Turn 180-degrees often enough, and something in your spirit takes a hundred-and-eighty-degree turnaround too. You find, that surprisingly, it's better to have it broken, than hardened.
Something in your heart changes, forever- even if you do have one less minute to conquer the world today.
"... It is more blessed to give than to receive."
-Acts 20:35b
No comments:
Post a Comment