Two days ago, our newly-appointed Vice-Dean of the School of Medicine addressed my entire batch formally. As we stepped into final year, he wanted to leave us with some nuggets of wisdom. He said many things, of which I remember one the most:
"Medicine is a journey, some of you may feel like you are hobbling. But remember, we have one another, and together, we'll finish the race."
He showed us a video of Derek Redmond, an Olympian athlete favored to win the 1992 Olympic Games for his event, but didn't... because halfway through his sprint, he tore his hamstrings.
As I watched it and felt the pain, anguish and reality of it all, I suddenly felt God smiling down at me, putting His finger right on me- that was my injury. He has a sense of humour.
That injury which we watched in the video, was what I had, still have. Except that besides my hamstrings, I also tore another tiny muscle called the gracilis, and another large muscle called the adductor magnus, which, on tearing, caused the fracture of my pelvis as well.
I've had a bumpy recovery, mainly because my muscles tense too easily and overcompensate, resulting in soreness, pain and tightness. Some days I wanted to give up. It's been more than 3 months. The exhausting search for the right practitioner, the bewildering search for answers... all take time, and eventually its toll on you. Today, after an intense physiotherapy session of trigger muscle releases (deep tissue massage), every part of both legs ached tremendously.
Have you ever felt like some event in your life hit you expectedly and threw you off-course? Have you ever doubted that you would finish your race?
You should. Because a torn hamstring in the middle of an athlete's race of a lifetime is no easy setback.
But as Derek Redmond hobbled to the finish line in pain and anguish, Somebody came to see him through to the very end.
And it reminds me, no matter what we're going through, we just need to trust, God will send angels to see us cross the finish line. No matter how anguished, despondent or bitter we are at our setbacks, we need to trust that He will give us the courage to finish the race.
I could only imagine Derek's anguish. All those years of training for a moment's glory, all gone down the drain. Sometimes, I look back at anorexia and that time of depression, think about what could've been had it not been for that throwing me off-course, think about how little faith I had in recovering... but now realise that as my Vice-Dean said, no matter what happens, we have one another to help us all finish the race together.
So even though both my legs hurt badly today, I'm holding on. I'm saying, God, thank you for the little things- for sending random angels who ask me out for swims on random days when my injury gets me down, thank you for sending me AL (my current physiotherapist) who is genuine about seeing me get better and back on track, thank you for seeing me through medical school, through life's ups and downs.
I know, you didn't leave our side, not once.
Together, we'll make it till the end.
"And the LORD,
He is the one who goes before you.
He will be with you,
He will not leave you nor forsake you."
- Deuteronomy 31:8
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