Saturday, December 12, 2009

Bye.

Perhaps doing good may be a lot like having someone say goodbye to you. Sometimes, it can be bittersweet. Many times, whether its making a donation or helping a stranger in need, we may find ourselves never ever seeing them again too. The good is done. Bye.

And unless we recognise that our transient particiation in loving them allowed us to be part of a greater miracle, and that was the blessing in itself, we shall always be dissatisfied, feeling like we were left behind. Bye, can be a lonesome word.

Although most people have been very kind and encouraging regarding what happened between my bike and Alisha, a few have chided me, thinking it foolish. Why give up something that rightfully belongs to you? She's Nepalese-and after you give the money up, you might just never see her again. She'll just say thanks and bye to you, that's all. Why'd you do something so silly, you.


Bye. But it was the most beautiful word I heard, I promise.


So there we were, in an empty space of a secluded shopping mall, laughing and giggling and squealing like 2 four-year olds having good fun. Mimicking everything I did, Alisha's peals of laughter rang high in the air as other people watched her, enthralled by her girlish yet boisterous charm. Jo the missionary, Alisha and her mother, L (the lady who helped pay off Alisha's operation and who would like to sponsor my next book to help people suffering from depression and eating disorders), and myself had dinner together, and Alisha and I were just having some post-dinner fun.

I called her name. And she turned around.

I stood back in amazement. Just weeks ago before the operation, whenever we wanted her attention, we would call out her name over and over, forgetting that she could not hear one bit. Getting her attention involved chasing after her, with her curious, wandering self in utter oblivion, and going so close to her and waving at her face.

This time, I called her name. And she turned around.

Suddenly, at that moment, as I stood in awe and wonder, I suddenly realised the miracle which had just taken place. At that moment, I was affirmed- in spite of some very human emotions I had to grapple with, I never regretted giving up my new bike. God had given me the chance to be part of that miracle, and I stood amazed.

Jo, the missionary, writes to share her thanks to those of you who have shown your love and concern:

Someone said that real giving is to give till it hurts. God has used Alisha to reinforced this lesson in my life... I have asked myself, "What would I do if she was my daughter?" Would I fold my arms and say "Let's wait for others to give" or would I participate in the miracle of giving?"

I am thankful that many of you have participated in the miracle of giving. I believe as we look around us, there are many more such miracles waiting to happen. All we need is to take that step of faith.

2 Cor9:9 says: "They share freely and give generously to the poor.
Their good deeds will be remembered forever."

Like Dr L said, this is a long journey for Alisha, it may takes 2 years or more. Please continue to pray for Alisha, mom and me, that we will not get discouraged in this journey. Alisha's mom probably need a lot of support as it can get even more difficult when they return back to Nepal. They will be going back to Nepal on 15 Dec and may return to Singapore 3 months later for another block of mappings and speech therapy.

As usual, Alisha had an obsessive fascination with my ear-rings. The first time she saw me, I remember her stunned look at my dress (the way modern women in Singapore dress compared to how those in her culture in Nepal do has been a fascination to her), before reaching straight for my dangly plastic jewels, gesturing for me to help put them on her ears, and then trying to put them on her mother's. Over dinner, with her new cochlear implant on her left ear, she did the same thing.

Mesmerized by and fiddling with my ear-rings

Trying to put them on her ears

and on her mother's ears too.

Almost as if she knew we were celebrating the success of her operation, she was in high spirits. After she had eaten her share of rice, she crawled next to me and gestured for some of my noodles. One bite, and she was hooked. She has a voracious appetite, and as she continued to persuade me to share my dinner portion with her, I marvelled at the now-beautiful possibility that she would one day be able to not only gesture, but elegantly communicate to others her needs, wants and thoughts.

Mouthful after mouthful!


Here's sharing with you one of the most special moments of her journey- that of hearing for the very first time. It was scary, no doubt-but since when was embarking on a new journey ever not?



It didn't take too long for her to warm up to her surroundings and enjoy her fifth sense though:
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The surgeon wrote to us, after Alisha's cochlear implant was switched on a month after the operation when the inflammation had resolved:

"Alisha is a lovely and spirited girl. Her switch-on went very well, despite her having had an ossified cochlear that made it necessary to modify the surgery and implant electrode... At the end of the consultation of that first switch-on session, she mimicked my 'bye' in the same tonal sing song way that I said it to her! Maybe my ears were playing tricks? But another colleague said the same happened when he bade her 'bye'!

Thank you very much for the wonderful support and prayers for this special girl, her mommy and Josephine.

Every patient is special, but the way your have all come together for her makes this extra beautiful for me. She has a long way to go though, as her implant comes at a late age. But I am sure she will be able to work this out slowly, please give her time. It will get better and better with use, even up to 2 years later she will still be improving. My audiologist and speech therapist will be holidaying in Nepal in January and visiting Alisha to see if they can help too. Unfortunately, I cannot be there as I will be in a workshop in Innsbruck then. Another time, definitely, though.

As I left her that day and waved goodbye, I heard her say "Bye" to me too.

"What did she say? Did she just say 'bye' to me?" My face was deadpan.

Bye! It was the sweetest sound. Because she can hear, Alisha can now learn speech for the very first time. She can now communicate her thoughts and desires with a means other than comical experessions and clown-like gestures.

Thank you for walking this journey with Alisha, thank you for your encouragement and your acts of love. For all your acts of kindess and generosity, know that it has made a difference to a life that could impact an entire community in ways we could never imagine.

Know that even though you may never see her with your very own eyes, and it may feel as if you're on the bittersweet end of a parting occasion, you have been a part of a miracle nonetheless. Thank you for your emails to encourage me to keep cycling in spite of my struggling with my flesh. Thank you for walking with us.


You might never see her face to face. I might never see what I wanted to have for myself again too. Doing good, may be a lot like being bade goodbye.

But I promise, it was the most beautiful 'bye' I heard in my life, the sweetest sound. And it reminded me, of the sweetness that doing good brings, the honey sweetness which outweighs any bitterness, because it is the work truly central to the soul of humanity, the blessing truly close to the heart of God. No matter if we're being bade goodbye.



"Let us not grow weary while doing good... ...

Therefore, as we have opportunity,

let us do good to all..."

-Galatians 6:10-11

* To those of you who would still like to contribute, donations are still welcome as Alisha's speech therapy sessions will be ongoing and her cochlear implant will be lifelong. Every bit counts.

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