COM-MUN-NI-CATION- It seems like such a long word to say, but we spit it out nonetheless, in our valiant attempts to love. And yet, it can sometimes result in MIS-UNDER-STAN-DINGS- what another big word.
In those valiant attempts to love in our everyday life, sometimes, we lose little battles along the way. Not because we mean to, but because of the sheer amount of time spent with one another which create tiny microabrasions along the way. Love is sent out, but the other doesn't receive it; love is sent out both ways, but gets lost in the atmosphere; sometimes love is witheld because both parties have been bitten. Lots of little things get lost in the air, and the little points of friction accummulate, misunderstandings occur, things get swept under. We keep score, even though we really don't mean to.
I am learning, that it is a precious thing to talk things out. It is far easier to put up a wall, chuck matters under the rug, leave things to fester like gangrenous wounds and give the friendship up. But I am learning, that friends cherish one another enough to work things out, even if it risks getting into a sticky situation. I am learning, that every relationship and person counts, and it is often the ones we cherish most that are most easily jeopardised, and it is up to us to let go, to humble ourselves, to challenge ourselves to understand the other person with compassion and love. I am learning, that I must be willing to learn these things.
I am also learning, that just as how through talking, one could find no reason to forgive, dig up even more issues and arm oneself with evidence of the other's wrongs, one can just as easily find no reason to stay mad, to keep loving, to forgive and to move on too. Sometimes, the human flesh longs to stay bitter, but the love for the person, the gratitude for all they've done for you, the memories treasured, and the cherishing of the times spent together makes all the difference.
At the end, it is simply a matter of choice. Like when God died for our sake, I don't think logically, He thought he really had a good reason to other than the reason of love. This irrational, all-consuming, mind-blowing thing called love, is the very thing that opens your eyes to the realities of truth but makes you love anyway, that makes you so very mad and hurt and guilty but makes you love still anyway, that makes me realise how much of a prick I am, too, but am still loved anyway- for all my idiosyncrasies, warts and terrible habits. It is this thing called love, which makes me look unnaturally at myself at the mirror to pick out the log in my own eye before picking the sawdust out from others'.
I am learning, that perhaps love is not just about being happy together, but about learning to bear with one another, in patience and longsuffering. I am learning, that friendships need to be watered with prayer, time and tenderness. Oh, I have so much to learn.
I am learning, that I have so much to learn, but that there is always reason to love, and to forgive, and that even though it may be challenging to try and understand someone else, we can try. And that sometimes, it may require prayer, humility and courage to do so.
But because we, too, have been loved and forgiven, for our multitude of faults, flaws and sins, we can try.
Every friend counts.
"... to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called,
with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering,
bearing with one another in love,
endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit
in the bond of peace."
-Ephesians 4:2-3
"Bear one another's burdens..."
-Galatians 6:2a
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