I'm not proud to admit it, but my mind is very often drifting towards a rainbow or resting on a daffodill. Like a cloud, it's always moving, shifting, taking on new shape and form in the likeness of a new ideal, a new aspiration. Sometimes I share my dreams, sometimes I don't. But I just, can't stop dreaming.
Lately, I think I heard God's calling for my life. It just sat so well and peacefully within me. I have for a long time loved medicine and children. I learnt that I love O&G (Obstetrics and Gynaecology), love women, teaching children, and writing books. I was agonised, however, by the fact that O&G is such treacherous ground (think having to deal with abortions and ethics and mother-and-child life-and-death issues on a day-to-day basis). I was agonised by the fact that I couldn't see how my medical background would help me teach or serve children better directly-somehow, I never saw myself as a paediatrician. But when I saw the tree filled with hundreds of caterpillars while we conducted the children's camp in Sri Lanka, I felt as if God was speaking to me, that my love for children and teaching them was not an accident, that they were caterpillars with potential ready to be unleashed and transformed into butterflies. He gave me a sunday school class at church for a reason.
So it was then that my dream birthed and blossomed. For a long time, I kept all my kites under wraps in the back of my closet, as the nightmare of untangling the knots of kitestrings unnerved me. But as we walked by the ocean in Sri Lanka, and God presented this image of the sky to me, just like in the last page of Kitesong, I truly felt He was telling me, that it was time to be brave to dream again. That it is noble and lovely to dream, as long as we trust God with them ultimately.
Just like how when my dream to write a book to raise funds evoked feelings of excitement, joy, trepidation and peace, this too, released in me a cage-ful of butterflies.
I think I've found my calling in life- to serve needy women and children in underprivileged nations.
I have a dream. Of building my own Women's and Children's Hospital in a developing nation and practising O&G the Right way. (Yes, I believe performing abortions for reasons other than the fetus causing maternal harm is Wrong. And I know I must be prepared to be slammed for taking that stand for the rest of my life because righteousness invites persecution. I am not sorry for this stand.)
I dream of building that hospital in a developing place where women and children are hurting, and of founding an orphanage right next to that place, so women who want abortions have the option of putting them up for adoption, instead of going for illegal, septic abortions and dying of septicemia. This helps to alleviate the social issues involved. I dream of someday implementing public health programs to educate families about the importance of contraception, the sanctity of life, to alleviate problems of malnutrition and child/women abuse, and to strengthen families. I dream of doing surgery for women and children, especially simple ones such as cleft palate surgery.
I dream of writing and painting more books to raise funds and awareness for causes I believe in. I dream of putting my paintings in a gallery someday to raise funds for a needy cause somewhere.
It jolly well sounds impossible, doesn't it? It's so big a dream. Practically speaking, I can't do O&G, Paediatrics and Plastic surgery (for cleft palates) all at the same time either,
But it's not entirely impossible, either. Doctor Miguel has transformed communities through medical missions, and is doing it till this very day. Together with her husband who is a pastor, she is helping communities in rural Philippines through the well-known Agape Rural Program. Dr Tan Lai Yong has done it, and is doing it now, still. He has published several books to raise funds for numerous tree-planting and community-sustaining projects in remote parts of China, blessing people with leprosy, HIV and the poor and needy.
Families-just of late God put this burden in my heart. For I realise, that most of our social problems today are largely due to family units gone wrong- explain orphans and abuse and dysfunctional people. Lately, I submitted another book to my publisher, in the hope that it may be used to raise awareness and funds for a cause pertaining to strengthening family units. I'm surrendering it to God, and have decided that even if nothing comes out of it, I must trust in His plan and timing. I have learnt, that we must never think we want to do good more than God does.
I dream of doing medical missions with my family in a place God has called me to, to serve other families. I dream of staying there over a good number of years, and cycling to work maybe. I dream of staying in a place where there is an ocean.
I dream of never ceasing to dream.
These dreams are so big, so idealistic, and so very very far away that I know they would only but invite scoffing and mocking. I am beginning to realise, that a lot of what I do and think has invited jeering. But perhaps the best thing is this, that no matter what people say, I still can't stop dreaming.
I have little, silly personal dreams too- about having having a new bike, one that is lighter, faster and which actually fits my size. One which I can one day ride in overseas races with handcyclists to raise funds for a worthy cause. I dream of completing an Olympic distance triathlon in my lifetime. I dream of sailing someday in the wide open ocean. I dream of learning how to horseride.
I dream of someday finding someone who really understands, loves, encourages and believes in me, whom I can partner to do God's work, and whom I can understand, love, encourage and believe in, in return.
I dream all the time, I just can't stop dreaming.
Because you know, dreams really do come true. Even if they're big, far-fetched ones. The thing is, I'm not believing for them to happen because of what I'm capable of, because I can't. But God is infinitely bigger than any of our wildest dreams, and He most certainly cares more about the poor and needy than any of us put together. God knows what needs to be done. But when we trust Him enough to ask, a spiritual miracle takes place. That act of faith unleashes a power far beyond our imagination- the impossible becomes possible, and we will awed by the magnitude of His abilities, and humbly come to know that it was not us, by God who moved the mountains and shook the earth. We just need to trust, that when we ask, He listens, and will invite us to participate in His adventurous work- but in His time and in His way, not by our terms or standards.
My journey through Kitesong has humbled and chastened me much. I learnt that God is more concerned about orphans than I ever will be. I learnt that when we want to make things happen, we must trust in God's good and perfect timing, and learn to be patient. I learnt that in the long run, only God can be our eternal fuel, not human goodness. And last but not least, I learnt that while we can dare to dream big, dare to ask, dare to have faith, at the end of the day, we must be willing to surrender and accept God's will for us and the world, and not whine about dreams which may be coloured by self-glorification, or selfish desires, and not be overwhelmed by disappointment. We must trust God that He knows best.
After Kitesong, I don't think I can ever stop dreaming. God, how did you make this happen? How did you make a little girl's dreams come true? And the dreams of many other children in developing nations?
After 3 and a half years, we have come full circle finally. Thank you for giving these underprivileged children in Nepal a better chance at education, at life, and a chance to dream like you and me, too.
Your prayer, support and many other things not goes into vain
may God bless you richly.
Uncle S and Aunty G L
We're free to dream, because it's God, not us, who makes things happen.
Thank you for your love and support.
More than $100'000 has been raised for Sophia's Home and the children have now moved into a new premise they can finally call their own.
No longer do they need to keep shifting homes because of high rental issues,
so they may finally put their hearts to studying well.
Funds raised from the Kitesong DVD will continue to support youth in developing countries,
so they may have a better chance at achieving their dreams in life.
The new Home is near the children's school, and a large field where they can play.
Thank you for giving them a chance to dream.
“ Finally, brothers, whatever things are true,
whatever things are noble, whatever things are just,
whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely,
whatever things are of good report,
if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-
meditate on these things.
The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me,
these do,
and the God of peace will be with you."
-Phil 4:8
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