May all of our dreams come true this year.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Fireworks.
To all my readers, thank you for making 2010 special for me. Whether it was a note, an email, lots of emails (haha), or face-to-face "Are you Wai Jia? I read your blog", you have been a part of my life.
On this brand new day of 2011, I just want to thank you for walking with me and say:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You have never been, and never will be.
And I just wanted to record down the beautiful things you've shared with me that have kept me going as well:
Just wanted to let you know how time and again the things you've penned in your blog has brought hope and encouragement to my sometimes weary, disillusioned, bitter heart haha...
But reading your entry on snowflakes was yet another timely reminder that our circumstances do not give us an excuse to be upset and stubborn and then try to hold out on God! And that it is all right, whenever our plans don't turn out just the way we want them to, as long as it is guided by God. And that, it is fine and life in a new year can still be purposefully & meaningfully entered into without a detailed TO DO LIST. hahaha.
So thank you, for sharing your thoughts, your struggles, your triumphs and falls. For it is thru honest sharing like yours, that I am reminded God is truly at work in this world. And it is thru lives like yours, that I see how much more potential we have, to lead each day of our lives meaningfully & purposefully. Thanks for letting God mould and use you for His work & glory!
Keep falling like a snowflake, my dear. Fall into His arms :)
I also want to thank you R, and C, for your regular emails and encouragement about my fears and the season of life I am going through.
I feel I have changed. The girl who wrote Kitesong is different from the girl who wrote A Taste of Rainbow. This girl is not a girl anymore. She is not as insecure, not as uncertain, not as needy of approval. 2010 has made me hardier, more focused, more daring, but it has also made me, in some ways, colder, more grown-up.
The girl who wrote A Taste of Rainbow is also not the same girl as I am now.
Perhaps, 2010 may have frozen some bits of us, but today, we can make the choice to say, that whatever we've been through was not for naught.
On this brand new day of 2011, I just want to thank you for walking with me and say:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You have never been, and never will be.
And I just wanted to record down the beautiful things you've shared with me that have kept me going as well:
Just wanted to let you know how time and again the things you've penned in your blog has brought hope and encouragement to my sometimes weary, disillusioned, bitter heart haha...
But reading your entry on snowflakes was yet another timely reminder that our circumstances do not give us an excuse to be upset and stubborn and then try to hold out on God! And that it is all right, whenever our plans don't turn out just the way we want them to, as long as it is guided by God. And that, it is fine and life in a new year can still be purposefully & meaningfully entered into without a detailed TO DO LIST. hahaha.
So thank you, for sharing your thoughts, your struggles, your triumphs and falls. For it is thru honest sharing like yours, that I am reminded God is truly at work in this world. And it is thru lives like yours, that I see how much more potential we have, to lead each day of our lives meaningfully & purposefully. Thanks for letting God mould and use you for His work & glory!
Keep falling like a snowflake, my dear. Fall into His arms :)
I also want to thank you R, and C, for your regular emails and encouragement about my fears and the season of life I am going through.
I feel I have changed. The girl who wrote Kitesong is different from the girl who wrote A Taste of Rainbow. This girl is not a girl anymore. She is not as insecure, not as uncertain, not as needy of approval. 2010 has made me hardier, more focused, more daring, but it has also made me, in some ways, colder, more grown-up.
The girl who wrote A Taste of Rainbow is also not the same girl as I am now.
Perhaps, 2010 may have frozen some bits of us, but today, we can make the choice to say, that whatever we've been through was not for naught.
We can make the choice to say:
Today, I believe in faith and favour,
grace and gratitude,
hope and healing.
I believe in dreams and daring,
princes and possibilities,
faith and fireworks.
Go into 2011 believing that you'll find a part of yourself that is
startling and beautiful and warm.
There's a firework somewhere hidden in you,
waiting to be sparked.
Watch this- I really like this video except for the gay kiss :/
Snowflakes.
“As a snowflake falls, it tumbles through many different environments,”
an Australian science writer named Karl Kruszelnicki explains.
“So the snowflake that you see on the ground is deeply affected
by the different temperatures, humidities, velocities, turbulences, etc,
that it has experienced on the way.”
Snowflakes start off all alike;
their different shapes are owed to their different lives.
Life has a funny way of turning its back on us, or so it seems.
We plan, we scheme, we devise. We pen down grand plans, draw detailed blueprints and roll out scrolls of flowcharts. After all, what's life without purpose? And what better way to pursue purpose than to manifest it in the form of meticulously thought out plans?
Hence, new year resolutions, I presume.
Last year at this time, I planned and hoped for many things. Amidst a list of things, I wanted to get my driving's license, finish an Olympic distance triathlon and marathon, travel to India to a mission hospital with one of my pastors, and pick up oil painting. I also resolved to eat more ice-cream.
I accomplished none of the above. Final year in medical school proved too busy for driving lessons, I experienced my first sports injury just before race season started, I ended up travelling to Smokey Mountain in Philippines instead, picked up pilates and ate more healthily.
Life, seems bent on ruining our most well-thought plans. And perhaps, God has His reasons, for this constant gust of wind determined to throw our feet off this tightrope seems to be the very thing which helps us to continually cling onto Him as our lifeline. And that, in itself, is most precious indeed.
This year, I resolve not to make any more new year resolutions. (Irony intended.)
Instead, I would like to reflect upon how I have changed in the past year, and my prayer for the new year ahead. After all, we, like snowflakes, seem to constantly change along our journey through space and time. Buffeted by strong winds and carved out by varying experiences, we morph and change in ways we least expect, for nothing in our most meticulous planning can predict how the air currents might be. We plan, only in vain. For we can never control how we turn out exactly, can never plan our full course. Yet, in the end, all snowflakes melt into the ground.
I am learning, that in the same way, perhaps, as long as our lives are guided by a constant force, we need not bother to plan our lives in such exhausting detail. Because we can trust, that no matter how bad the winds and how cold the currents may be, Gravity promises our descent and return to where we came from. At the most sublime point of our greatest beauty, having travelled through life's long journey from above, and having been refined by harsh environments, we then perish and melt into God again.
So this year, I'm not going to say what races I must join, what places I must go, what things I want to accomplish. Rather, I want to say I'm ready to follow the gravity of my life, to be more grounded in God, and to come that much closer to folding into Him.
Planning is inevitable. It is a merit, most times. But I want to plan in a way that gives respect to time, space, and the most important force of my life.
This year will be rough, I know. There will be great transitions. If all goes well, I will begin the gruelling life of a junior doctor and my skin might hardly see daylight. But I know, the harsher the winds, the more beautifully one surely will evolve to become, as long as one trusts the force that carries one on his journey.
This year, some highlights included:
- receiving my new bike, Faith.
- being humbled and experiencing emotional and spiritual growth through my hamstring injury
- my reinforced calling to the poor and needy through a visit to Smokey Mountain
- the completion (finally!) of A Taste of Rainbow
- a nomination for an award, which took me many weeks to have the peace to go through with the application
- enjoying medical school in a way I never thought possible
- my learning to forgive people, and realising I need to learn to forgive more.
- realising that God is teaching me to let Him drive
- believing that perhaps, romantic love really does exist if we give it a chance, and isn't such a sham if we let God do the picking.
Next year, my prayer is to:
- learn forgiveness, because I have been forgiven. (I discovered that my sensitive nature also translates into nursing old bruises for long periods.)
- rekindle my love for my patients, because stress and sleep deprivation can take a huge toll on one's basic bedside manners.
- continue to love God and know Him more. (This doesn't mean doing more projects, but instead, means learning to be more gentle and patient, which I am often not.)
- and perhaps, to let someone else love me, too.
There're many things we can't predict, but there's one thing we can:
That no matter how bitter the weather and how frosty the environment, God will make something beautiful out of our experiences, as long we let Him.
a photo given to me by a friend in Canada, of a tree in his backyard.
To all you readers, thank you for walking through 2010 with me.
Thank you for all your emails, text messages, and comments, which have been great encouragements in my journey towards God.
I hope that in some small way, this space, too,
has blessed you and brought you closer to
::where we came from::
and where we will eventually return to.
Blessed New Year to you.
"For the final truth about snowflakes is that they become more individual as they fall—
that, buffeted by wind and time,
they are translated, as if by magic,
into ever more strange and complex patterns,
until, at last, like us, they touch earth.
Then, like us, they melt. "
- The New Yorker, by Adam Gopnik
No more fear.
I got scared. To be honest, that's what it really was-fear.
A couple of weeks ago, my publisher and the rest of the committee had assured me that A Taste of Rainbow would be ready for print. After 3 years of suffering, healing and waiting, my dream of publishing this second book was finally so close to being fulfilled. There were countless moments of anguish and disappointment with God, and one close shave to trashing this painstakingly illustrated book down the chute. All that held me back was that huge arc of a rainbow behind the Singapore flyer I saw 3 years ago on the day I finished the first draft of the book.
A rainbow is God's promise. So I held on.
And now that God is this close to making this dream come true, I was actually... scared.
There would be publicity. People would know. For this next project to make an impact on the lives of people, to help those who are suffering, I will have to, at some point, be in the limelight. I used to be very vocal, used to enjoy being seen and heard. But like a snowflake being buffeted by the winds as it falls to the ground, I have changed, and am no longer as extroverted as I was before. I have become more shy, and grown uncomfortable with gregarious self-introductions.
A couple of weeks ago, my publisher and the rest of the committee had assured me that A Taste of Rainbow would be ready for print. After 3 years of suffering, healing and waiting, my dream of publishing this second book was finally so close to being fulfilled. There were countless moments of anguish and disappointment with God, and one close shave to trashing this painstakingly illustrated book down the chute. All that held me back was that huge arc of a rainbow behind the Singapore flyer I saw 3 years ago on the day I finished the first draft of the book.
A rainbow is God's promise. So I held on.
And now that God is this close to making this dream come true, I was actually... scared.
There would be publicity. People would know. For this next project to make an impact on the lives of people, to help those who are suffering, I will have to, at some point, be in the limelight. I used to be very vocal, used to enjoy being seen and heard. But like a snowflake being buffeted by the winds as it falls to the ground, I have changed, and am no longer as extroverted as I was before. I have become more shy, and grown uncomfortable with gregarious self-introductions.
This coming wednesday, I will be attending a gala dinner for the award I was shortlisted for. They will be celebrating the achievements and contributions of the finalists of the award. I'm afraid, because I'm not sure if I like that sort of attention anymore. 2 weeks ago, the university sent me another nomination to fill up for another award, and I'm simply dreading the application process. Whatever for, and to what purpose?
I got scared, because I'm not sure what people may say, how they may judge me. I became afraid, because of what people kept saying about this having implications on my future, and on my area of specialisation. Many have come, and still come into my path to counsel me to think twice. Is this what you really want to do? There are consequences. Are you sure about this? Because there's no turning back once you decide on it.
And my answer, though now more sprinkled with awareness, is still yes and amen.
Because isn't this what this journey is about? God is calling me to make a decision that might jeopardise myself, and I can see, how even this is a test of faith, obedience and courage. I have been through so much to see this book to completion. Do I want, for the sake of self-preservation and out of fear, to back out now? Would I be true to myself? Would it be following my heart?
No.
So I'm going ahead. For weeks I had stalled. I was apprehensive about giving my publisher the final edits. But tonight, as I walk into the new year ahead, I have decided, that there's no turning back now.
God, I'm counting on You to give me strength and courage- the kind of courage that has no reason.
I was afraid, and shall not be from now.
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,
for God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
No turning back.
Now that the year is ending, my finals are nearing and I'm moving on to a different chapter of life, I just want to give thanks for the past 5 years of my life in medical school.
Just lately, some people have been sharing with me about difficult stages of life they've been going through, and wondering if they would make it through. It reminded me of how different I was 5 years ago, and how indeed, God can use our trials and struggles to strengthen and refine us.
Once upon a time, I was prone to insomnia and anxiety, insecure and unfit, depressed and in despair, wondering how on earth if it would be possible to ever graduate. Once upon a time, things were so bad I thought ending things would be easier and that I might never make it through. Once upon a time, I thought my second book would be junked and God would turn out to be a hoax.
But today, I sleep like a lamb every night, I take exams with the perspective that I've passed them already, I've picked up triathlon, and I've never been more excited or motivated to graduate to become a doctor.
I really am excited.
Today, I just want to thank God for how He's changed me, from a hopeless rag doll to someone hopeful, from someone who always needed to look to someone else for comfort to someone who can put her confidence in Him. Things have changed, in ways which I thought were impossible, and I'm just amazed. Because just some time ago, I thought it was impossible.
I come from a background which doesn't really promote positive thinking. I ended up pushing myself harder than I ought to, beating myself up harder than I should, and believing that divorce, separation and conflict were the norm rather than the exception. But church changed all that- I started to believe in a God who believed in me, ended up enjoying the flow of work and play and started to see that loyalty, commitment and love, while not perfect, are real things that can happen to real people. Only lately, because of how my eyes were opened to 2 special couples at church with interesting histories, I think, finally, I've started to believe in romantic love again- if only a little.
Just lately, some people have been sharing with me about difficult stages of life they've been going through, and wondering if they would make it through. It reminded me of how different I was 5 years ago, and how indeed, God can use our trials and struggles to strengthen and refine us.
Once upon a time, I was prone to insomnia and anxiety, insecure and unfit, depressed and in despair, wondering how on earth if it would be possible to ever graduate. Once upon a time, things were so bad I thought ending things would be easier and that I might never make it through. Once upon a time, I thought my second book would be junked and God would turn out to be a hoax.
But today, I sleep like a lamb every night, I take exams with the perspective that I've passed them already, I've picked up triathlon, and I've never been more excited or motivated to graduate to become a doctor.
I really am excited.
Today, I just want to thank God for how He's changed me, from a hopeless rag doll to someone hopeful, from someone who always needed to look to someone else for comfort to someone who can put her confidence in Him. Things have changed, in ways which I thought were impossible, and I'm just amazed. Because just some time ago, I thought it was impossible.
I come from a background which doesn't really promote positive thinking. I ended up pushing myself harder than I ought to, beating myself up harder than I should, and believing that divorce, separation and conflict were the norm rather than the exception. But church changed all that- I started to believe in a God who believed in me, ended up enjoying the flow of work and play and started to see that loyalty, commitment and love, while not perfect, are real things that can happen to real people. Only lately, because of how my eyes were opened to 2 special couples at church with interesting histories, I think, finally, I've started to believe in romantic love again- if only a little.
That's a real big step for me.
God, You changed my life and gave me hope.
At one point, I wanted to end this all. Today, I am in awe at this newfound joy in marvelling at the study of medicine and this newfound hope and faith in a future which is uncertain and scary.
At one point, I bashed love. Today, I think it is possible.
At one point, I thought God was a meanie. Today, I know He is a loving teacher, someone who makes dreams come true. If all goes well, A Taste of Rainbow should be launched in February.
God, You changed my life and gave me hope.
At one point, I wanted to end this all. Today, I am in awe at this newfound joy in marvelling at the study of medicine and this newfound hope and faith in a future which is uncertain and scary.
At one point, I bashed love. Today, I think it is possible.
At one point, I thought God was a meanie. Today, I know He is a loving teacher, someone who makes dreams come true. If all goes well, A Taste of Rainbow should be launched in February.
God, thank you for my church.
Thank you for helping me believe in myself,
and to believe that a 180-turnaround is possible.
Thank you for helping me believe
that with faith, hope and love,
miracles really do happen.
I've decided to follow You, and there's no turning back.
I've decided to follow You, and there's no turning back.
Picture by Ian Ho, modelling/concept by Wai Jia"I have decided, to follow Jesus...
No turning back, no turning back..."
- No turning back
(my favorite hymn)
Saturday, December 25, 2010
All I Need.
This Christmas, in the midst of the lights and presents and raucous laughter, perhaps you're feeling a little lonely, or wishing you were someplace else doing something different...
... perhaps it helps to remind ourselves, that somewhere out there, are many who would give the world up to be where we are, do what we're doing, if only they were given the opportunity.
Dear God, thank you for my home, thank you for my family, thank you for dinner at home, thank you that on Christmas Day I have my exams to study for because it is such a privilege to do so, thank you that in a big and scary world out there of fanfare and noise, all I need is You, a piece of Peace in my heart.
Enjoy the video.
... perhaps it helps to remind ourselves, that somewhere out there, are many who would give the world up to be where we are, do what we're doing, if only they were given the opportunity.
Dear God, thank you for my home, thank you for my family, thank you for dinner at home, thank you that on Christmas Day I have my exams to study for because it is such a privilege to do so, thank you that in a big and scary world out there of fanfare and noise, all I need is You, a piece of Peace in my heart.
Enjoy the video.
Merry Christmas Everyone!
In the spirit of Christmas, I think I better continue updating my blog while it's still having a good run (at least to me cuz i've been updating!). There is just so much Christmas Spirit in everyone this year. Never had it better celebrating with friends and family.
Had a good Christmas Eve Party which was hosted by Mabel which was a day earlier before the actual day for some reason. It was a steamboat party thing that involved cute looking tofu just like this (a picture i took from mabel's facebook because I did not bring my camera as usual which I must do more often now!!)
Even Desmond JUST had it TOO GOOD!! (Another picture I took from Desmond's facebook, everythings on facebook so I did not really have to bring a camera)
Now I was probably gonna end my blog here, but you're probably wondering what I got for Christmas this year. You see, as I get older, Christmas doesn't quite come together with presents anymore with most times ending with dinner and wine only. Its my fault because I generally don't expect anything during Christmas other than the quality time I get to spend with family and friends.Yes this is as true as it gets! Generally, SANTA CLAUSE stopped coming to my house to put presents under the tree a long time back.
It's almost the same as how my Ang Pow for Chinese New Year happens to get smaller and smaller as I get older. (If it's only me, you better TELL ME!!TEELLL ME!!!)
But this year, things are rather different. This year I received a present and got this.
A Star.
A Star cookie cutter which is used to bake a cake. A gift that came from none other than the generous host of the Christmas Eve Party.
Now generally I don't know what to do with it yet or EVER because I don't bake cakes at all, but such a gift although it may not have cost much, I would forever remember it as my CHRISTMAS GIVE for a very long time. Means' a lot to me. So next time if you're wondering why I have this star cookie cutter in my room, you know why.
By saying all of this, I don't expect Square Cookie Cutter to come next year okay!
So, knowing what I got for Christmas this year, what did you get this year??can't be a coincidence that you got a cookie cutter would it EVER!! haha...
Anyway that's pretty much how Christmas look like for me this year. You can just tell that the year is just going to end very nicely.
With that Merry Christmas and hope things will turn out for the better next year!!
Had a good Christmas Eve Party which was hosted by Mabel which was a day earlier before the actual day for some reason. It was a steamboat party thing that involved cute looking tofu just like this (a picture i took from mabel's facebook because I did not bring my camera as usual which I must do more often now!!)
Even Desmond JUST had it TOO GOOD!! (Another picture I took from Desmond's facebook, everythings on facebook so I did not really have to bring a camera)
Now I was probably gonna end my blog here, but you're probably wondering what I got for Christmas this year. You see, as I get older, Christmas doesn't quite come together with presents anymore with most times ending with dinner and wine only. Its my fault because I generally don't expect anything during Christmas other than the quality time I get to spend with family and friends.Yes this is as true as it gets! Generally, SANTA CLAUSE stopped coming to my house to put presents under the tree a long time back.
It's almost the same as how my Ang Pow for Chinese New Year happens to get smaller and smaller as I get older. (If it's only me, you better TELL ME!!TEELLL ME!!!)
But this year, things are rather different. This year I received a present and got this.
A Star.
A Star cookie cutter which is used to bake a cake. A gift that came from none other than the generous host of the Christmas Eve Party.
Now generally I don't know what to do with it yet or EVER because I don't bake cakes at all, but such a gift although it may not have cost much, I would forever remember it as my CHRISTMAS GIVE for a very long time. Means' a lot to me. So next time if you're wondering why I have this star cookie cutter in my room, you know why.
By saying all of this, I don't expect Square Cookie Cutter to come next year okay!
So, knowing what I got for Christmas this year, what did you get this year??can't be a coincidence that you got a cookie cutter would it EVER!! haha...
Anyway that's pretty much how Christmas look like for me this year. You can just tell that the year is just going to end very nicely.
With that Merry Christmas and hope things will turn out for the better next year!!
Friday, December 24, 2010
(Edited with pictures) The Power of Love.
Are you a gift sort of person? I mean, is that your love language? If it is, Christmas is probably a busy time for you, and perhaps, a time of emotional highs and lows, too.
A couple of weeks ago, I read a book from church about the hardships of marriage. The authors are husband and wife, and illustrated the challenges in communication between a couple.
The husband used to buy flowers for his wife frequently after work, swinging by the florist outside his workplace, thinking to himself proudly, "How many men would actually still buy his wife flowers after all these years?" He did this frequently, expressively, but grew to resent that his wife started showing less and less appreciation. He stopped buying them altogether, resenting even passing by the florist and one day, sat his wife down and haha, said he "wanted to talk". (Which is great by the way, because it's usually the woman who "wants to talk" and the man who dreads it.)
And they do. And the wife says, " It's because everytime you give them to me, they look half dead. And you go on to tell me each time what a great deal they were, how many extra flowers you got for your buck. It makes me feel they were got out of convenience, and I feel cheap."
Silence.
And he replies, "So you want me to drive an hour downtown to Bloomington during the busy lunch hour so I can get em fresh, get the same flowers at about 5 times the price wrapped in a wrapper which says Bloomington so I can give the same thing to you?"
To which she replies, "I think you're beginning to understand a little of what Romance means."
I sighed at this story. Because it only goes to show how much grace we need to love one another, not on our terms, but on somebody else's. I could totally relate to how the wife felt. Totally. I would've felt the same-every woman wants to feel valued above all else by her man. But the man had already gone out of his comfort zone to buy something out of his "practical" mind such as flowers for her.
I suppose, love, when wrapped in a gift, can only release its full measure of power when both it's giver and recipient meet on the same levels.
Recently, I was a little offended by a gift which obviously looked like it was a pass-on, and then later, on reflecting upon myself, realised that perhaps I was guilty, too.
I was slighted. Petty? Maybe. But I suppose, no one likes to feel like a convenient salvation army garage sale, good for second-hands only.
Simmering a little, because I like to think I spend effort writing and making cards and buying thoughtful presents with the person in mind, I then thought of the many children in Smokey Mountain, in Nepal and in many other developing countries this Christmas who might be jumping gleefully with joy at bags of hand-me-downs and collected clothes from people like us who don't want them anymore. Do they feel second-rate, too? Or do they feel privileged even to be considered "second-rate"?
Once, I met a missionary who related a story about a toaster to me. She said she was hurt during a collection event for missionaries, when people donated really awful things to them, thinking that they were fit for use by them. One of them was a toaster, which could only pop up not two, but one slice of bread because one side was faulty.
To be honest, I didn't see a big deal in it. I even thought she might have been a little petty. After all, isn't a faulty toaster better than no toaster at all?
But now I understand. I understand what charity organisations mean when they say they're tired of receiving broken things, or things which were put in their collection bin that you might have to be pretty close to Einstein to figure out what their use might be.
The truth is, no one likes to feel second-rate. A gift often represents what you feel about the person's worth, and no one likes to feel like they were cheap, or that you thought they were.
So each time I clear my wardrobe, I've begun to throw more things out, and started learning to give away things I actually liked to organisations that needed them.
At Smokey Mountain this Christmas, the church there organised a treat for a thousnd kids by ordering Jolibee (their equivalent of Mac Donalds) for them, hired the red and yellow bee mascot to entertain them, and gave out shirts, slippers and groceries to families. A large sum was raised- 14 USD per child. They had their once-a-year treat of spaghetti and chicken nuggets, compared to their usual meagre meals of lentils and cheap rice.
Too extravagant? Some would think so. Generous? Perhaps. Is calculated love still love? I don't know.
I am learning, that sometimes, the power of love is magnified and multiplied when an element of sacrifice is present. That one hour's drive to Bloomington? Yea, that's what I'm talking about. That sweater you kinda like but know you haven't worn for months? I had to remind myself that it could be put to better use when I passed it to the scrawny uncle who mops the lifts at my block. He was so cold that day.
Not that one ought to have high standards for gifts given to one. After all, it's often the simple, thoughtful things like a text message or email which melt our hearts, aren't they? But I have been challenged, to give out of sacrifice, and not out of convenience.
But I have been guilty. I have bought stacks of books at book sales, to give them out through the year to people. But you know what? They never feel the same. They never feel as special. Because very often, those were "could-do" gifts and not "WOW, for me?" gifts.
Yet, even the recipient's attitudes play a part for love to blaze like a firework. A friend shared with me yesterday about a garage sale at her church, organised for needy families. While some had sacrificed things they loved to bless others, there were those who simply bought items simply because they were cheap, even though the bicycles were too big for them, or the rollerskates didn't fit.
Love, is a precious thing. I am learning, it needs to be given, and received with care and gratitude. I am learning, that we ought not to exult in feel-good self-righteousness at our altruism since it is the recipient's response which determines how much love is actually conveyed successfully. I am learning, that one also ought not to be offended at gifts- do we not believe that our lives are already filled with good things from God? Are we not secure enough in His love for us? Why should we doubt our worth based on what we receive?
Just as I took a break from writing this post, I found a package for myself on the table, wondering who it could be from. This is from the inspiring mother of one of my paediatrics patients (the cutest little 3-year old boy) whom I'd met more than a year ago, who even till today still prays for me. Thank you so much for the beautiful necklace. It matches what I'm already wearing today perfectly. I love it, but I love your beautiful, gentle spirit more :)
A couple of weeks ago, I read a book from church about the hardships of marriage. The authors are husband and wife, and illustrated the challenges in communication between a couple.
The husband used to buy flowers for his wife frequently after work, swinging by the florist outside his workplace, thinking to himself proudly, "How many men would actually still buy his wife flowers after all these years?" He did this frequently, expressively, but grew to resent that his wife started showing less and less appreciation. He stopped buying them altogether, resenting even passing by the florist and one day, sat his wife down and haha, said he "wanted to talk". (Which is great by the way, because it's usually the woman who "wants to talk" and the man who dreads it.)
And they do. And the wife says, " It's because everytime you give them to me, they look half dead. And you go on to tell me each time what a great deal they were, how many extra flowers you got for your buck. It makes me feel they were got out of convenience, and I feel cheap."
Silence.
And he replies, "So you want me to drive an hour downtown to Bloomington during the busy lunch hour so I can get em fresh, get the same flowers at about 5 times the price wrapped in a wrapper which says Bloomington so I can give the same thing to you?"
To which she replies, "I think you're beginning to understand a little of what Romance means."
I sighed at this story. Because it only goes to show how much grace we need to love one another, not on our terms, but on somebody else's. I could totally relate to how the wife felt. Totally. I would've felt the same-every woman wants to feel valued above all else by her man. But the man had already gone out of his comfort zone to buy something out of his "practical" mind such as flowers for her.
I suppose, love, when wrapped in a gift, can only release its full measure of power when both it's giver and recipient meet on the same levels.
Recently, I was a little offended by a gift which obviously looked like it was a pass-on, and then later, on reflecting upon myself, realised that perhaps I was guilty, too.
I was slighted. Petty? Maybe. But I suppose, no one likes to feel like a convenient salvation army garage sale, good for second-hands only.
Simmering a little, because I like to think I spend effort writing and making cards and buying thoughtful presents with the person in mind, I then thought of the many children in Smokey Mountain, in Nepal and in many other developing countries this Christmas who might be jumping gleefully with joy at bags of hand-me-downs and collected clothes from people like us who don't want them anymore. Do they feel second-rate, too? Or do they feel privileged even to be considered "second-rate"?
Once, I met a missionary who related a story about a toaster to me. She said she was hurt during a collection event for missionaries, when people donated really awful things to them, thinking that they were fit for use by them. One of them was a toaster, which could only pop up not two, but one slice of bread because one side was faulty.
To be honest, I didn't see a big deal in it. I even thought she might have been a little petty. After all, isn't a faulty toaster better than no toaster at all?
But now I understand. I understand what charity organisations mean when they say they're tired of receiving broken things, or things which were put in their collection bin that you might have to be pretty close to Einstein to figure out what their use might be.
The truth is, no one likes to feel second-rate. A gift often represents what you feel about the person's worth, and no one likes to feel like they were cheap, or that you thought they were.
So each time I clear my wardrobe, I've begun to throw more things out, and started learning to give away things I actually liked to organisations that needed them.
At Smokey Mountain this Christmas, the church there organised a treat for a thousnd kids by ordering Jolibee (their equivalent of Mac Donalds) for them, hired the red and yellow bee mascot to entertain them, and gave out shirts, slippers and groceries to families. A large sum was raised- 14 USD per child. They had their once-a-year treat of spaghetti and chicken nuggets, compared to their usual meagre meals of lentils and cheap rice.
Too extravagant? Some would think so. Generous? Perhaps. Is calculated love still love? I don't know.
I am learning, that sometimes, the power of love is magnified and multiplied when an element of sacrifice is present. That one hour's drive to Bloomington? Yea, that's what I'm talking about. That sweater you kinda like but know you haven't worn for months? I had to remind myself that it could be put to better use when I passed it to the scrawny uncle who mops the lifts at my block. He was so cold that day.
Not that one ought to have high standards for gifts given to one. After all, it's often the simple, thoughtful things like a text message or email which melt our hearts, aren't they? But I have been challenged, to give out of sacrifice, and not out of convenience.
But I have been guilty. I have bought stacks of books at book sales, to give them out through the year to people. But you know what? They never feel the same. They never feel as special. Because very often, those were "could-do" gifts and not "WOW, for me?" gifts.
Yet, even the recipient's attitudes play a part for love to blaze like a firework. A friend shared with me yesterday about a garage sale at her church, organised for needy families. While some had sacrificed things they loved to bless others, there were those who simply bought items simply because they were cheap, even though the bicycles were too big for them, or the rollerskates didn't fit.
Love, is a precious thing. I am learning, it needs to be given, and received with care and gratitude. I am learning, that we ought not to exult in feel-good self-righteousness at our altruism since it is the recipient's response which determines how much love is actually conveyed successfully. I am learning, that one also ought not to be offended at gifts- do we not believe that our lives are already filled with good things from God? Are we not secure enough in His love for us? Why should we doubt our worth based on what we receive?
Just as I took a break from writing this post, I found a package for myself on the table, wondering who it could be from. This is from the inspiring mother of one of my paediatrics patients (the cutest little 3-year old boy) whom I'd met more than a year ago, who even till today still prays for me. Thank you so much for the beautiful necklace. It matches what I'm already wearing today perfectly. I love it, but I love your beautiful, gentle spirit more :)
To all my friends and family, thank you for everything that you have blessed me with. Beyond gifts, you have blessed me with your time and love, encouragement and support. Who cares about pass-on gifts when we have one another.
Above all, perhaps we can be thankful for the greatest gift of all that God gave us on Christmas, thoughtfully bought, at the highest cost, with the greatest sacrifice.
That's the power of love.
Merry Christmas.
"...for you were bought with a price:
glorify God therefore in your body."
-1 Cor 6:20
Thursday, December 23, 2010
K-Kinda Busy
Hey guys, sorry I've been so busy all week with work and got no days off! I have to work tomorrow all day and then after that I have Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off yay!!! Can't wait! I've been counting down the days since the beginning of this week and I am almost done!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Penang Famous Realtor
A few months ago after chatting with a friend at a nearby coffeeshop sipping affordable Kopi Oh instead of having World's Best Coffee at Starbucks, I realised that I had to do alot of visioning in my life and might end up drinking Kopi Oh for the rest of my life.
Never again would I be able to seat in another Starbucks like I used to do before.
Never again would I be able to buy another blackberry but to buy another cheap Nokia phone if my present phone goes wrong as long as I am contactable.
Never again would I be able to take MAS or Singapore Airlines to fly but take budget flights from Airasia.
Never again would I be able to eat food in fancy restaurants but in coffee shops.
Never again because what I do for the next 10 to 20 years of my life determines what comes above my head.
Let me explain...
You see, a few months ago, I met up with an old classmate of mine from KDU.
She is none other than Serena. A girl who is smart, easy-going, and if there was anyone I knew who would be successful in life, it would be her. But today she is known for something else as well.
Today she's a famous realtor from Penang also known as Penang Famous Realtor who works in Henry Butcher. What she does is that she acts as an intermediary between seller and buyer of a property.
Something like a good friend of yours who would introduce you to another guy or girl and if you both find interest in each other and enter into a relationship, unlike a normal good friend, this good friend will need to be a PAID a certain amount in CASH depending how HOT the relationship is.
Now previously(before I met her of course), I never really had a clue of how much owning a property can be on Penang Island. I also never quite understood why there are so many people in the country who are squatters.
I never quite understood why some people would have a sudden sadness in their eyes or admiration when they hear you stay at places like the Cove at Tanjung bungah, or Gurney Paragon, Alila Bungalows, or Bayu Ferengghi just to name a few.
I mean I thought I would just,
JUST buy a unit in the COVE in Penang Island after working for a few years. Settle down, Marry, Make Babies, Buy LCD TV and live happily ever after with the wonderful view outside my window of the SEA.
Not until I visited the Penang Famous Realtor's blog at http://penangpropertyangel.blogspot.com/.
(A blog created by Serena that gives an overview of properties for sale in Penang.)
As a result,
A PROPERTY IN PENANG IS IN THE MILLIONS OF RINGGIT!!!
Even the cove unit starts at RM1.8 million according to her blog.
Even if i never again do any of the things I said above earlier, a normal wage earner like me would never be able to afford a nice place like that at the moment. Serena has made me realised that I would have to start saving NOW. The economic condition in Penang of buying a property is such that the longer you wait, the price of a property goes much higher. Which means to say, you can never really afford it even when you can.
Anyway, I know my dream of JUST wanting to buy any of the property highlighted in Serena's blog is almost over. Not unlesss I found a GOLD mine or something. But until then, i'll just stay at places not highlighted in Serena's blog that don't cost millions.
I'll seat on Government Empty Land!!FREE!!
Never again would I be able to seat in another Starbucks like I used to do before.
Never again would I be able to buy another blackberry but to buy another cheap Nokia phone if my present phone goes wrong as long as I am contactable.
Never again would I be able to take MAS or Singapore Airlines to fly but take budget flights from Airasia.
Never again would I be able to eat food in fancy restaurants but in coffee shops.
Never again because what I do for the next 10 to 20 years of my life determines what comes above my head.
Let me explain...
You see, a few months ago, I met up with an old classmate of mine from KDU.
She is none other than Serena. A girl who is smart, easy-going, and if there was anyone I knew who would be successful in life, it would be her. But today she is known for something else as well.
Today she's a famous realtor from Penang also known as Penang Famous Realtor who works in Henry Butcher. What she does is that she acts as an intermediary between seller and buyer of a property.
Something like a good friend of yours who would introduce you to another guy or girl and if you both find interest in each other and enter into a relationship, unlike a normal good friend, this good friend will need to be a PAID a certain amount in CASH depending how HOT the relationship is.
Now previously(before I met her of course), I never really had a clue of how much owning a property can be on Penang Island. I also never quite understood why there are so many people in the country who are squatters.
I never quite understood why some people would have a sudden sadness in their eyes or admiration when they hear you stay at places like the Cove at Tanjung bungah, or Gurney Paragon, Alila Bungalows, or Bayu Ferengghi just to name a few.
I mean I thought I would just,
JUST buy a unit in the COVE in Penang Island after working for a few years. Settle down, Marry, Make Babies, Buy LCD TV and live happily ever after with the wonderful view outside my window of the SEA.
Not until I visited the Penang Famous Realtor's blog at http://penangpropertyangel.blogspot.com/.
(A blog created by Serena that gives an overview of properties for sale in Penang.)
As a result,
A PROPERTY IN PENANG IS IN THE MILLIONS OF RINGGIT!!!
Even the cove unit starts at RM1.8 million according to her blog.
Even if i never again do any of the things I said above earlier, a normal wage earner like me would never be able to afford a nice place like that at the moment. Serena has made me realised that I would have to start saving NOW. The economic condition in Penang of buying a property is such that the longer you wait, the price of a property goes much higher. Which means to say, you can never really afford it even when you can.
Anyway, I know my dream of JUST wanting to buy any of the property highlighted in Serena's blog is almost over. Not unlesss I found a GOLD mine or something. But until then, i'll just stay at places not highlighted in Serena's blog that don't cost millions.
I'll seat on Government Empty Land!!FREE!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Driver's Seat.
"Have you noticed, that... your life has been very... challenging?"
I knew she was on to something. And I knew, she was about to help me discover something magical, something that smelled refreshing and nostalgic and ancient and fresh. So I stayed on track, trying to catch a whiff of the trail.
"Yea, I have. But what am I to do?"
Silence.
"So, what are you saying?" I asked, smiling a little, not wanting to sound confrontational.
"What I'm saying is, I've noticed that your life seems to consist of climbing one mountain after the next, and all I'm wondering is, whether you feel tired, and if you exercise enough self-care. Like what we talked about at our last session."
We were on the topic of my next book. About it going to be published soon, about the difficulties which came with it and which will come along with it. We were talking about my upcoming final examinations, my ruminations about how my previous illness had taken away what I wished it hadn't. We were talking about that recurrent topic in our conversations, about that melancholic sense of lonliness inside of me because of my desire to do missions and to live my life differently.
"So how does doing all these things make you feel?"
"I mean, I guess I feel fulfilled. But to be honest, sometimes I do feel lonely. I mean, on the outside it looks great. Like, people think I have it all together- studies, community service, friends etc. But hey, I only got 24 hours in a day, so something's gotta go- I end up doing a lot of "purposeful" things. You're right. Sometimes, I get tired. And it feels lonely. But I mean, I've come to accept it- because, I feel called to do this sorta thing."
"Sure."
Silence.
"But I guess, part of the roller-coaster bit of my life, part of my previous illness was because I tried so hard to be in control. There're so many factors in life- I can't control the results of my studies, I can't control my future residency, I can't control what people think of me, I can't control where I'll be headed next, so the eating disorder was the best way for me to feel in control."
"Absolutely."
Silence.
"So do you see, how you've compartmentalised God? Like you give Him control over this, this and this, but not over that, that and that? And because of that, do you see how you tend to climb your own mountains, one after another, to experience that temporary high? But they're barren mountains. They're all barren. All that unecessary drama was from you driving by yourself because you feared that God would take you elsewhere you feared you wouldn't be able to cope."
Epiphany moment.
"Yea... you're... right."
Do you, like me, struggle to be in the driver's seat? Do you fear the change in scenery, the feeling like you don't know where you're being driven to, and if you'd be taken to a place where, gasp, you might not be able to cope?
I know I do.
I've always striven to be behind the wheel, so I think I know exactly where I'm going. The truth is, even with both hands behind the steering wheel, we never do. How can we, for only God knows our futures and our lives. The ironic part is, we, in our ignorance, in spite of our best intentions, then often drive ourselves up mountains that we were never meant to climb.
"Why do you want to drive up barren mountains, when God wants to bring you to lusher, grander, more beautiful mountains on the other side? Has it occurred to you, that perhaps, in spite of all your fears about not knowing where He might take you, you may very well be driving yourself up a far more difficult terrain than what He has planned for you?"
I thought about my previous illness, my publishing journey in writing and illustrating books as well as my self-striving in terms of training in triathlon. I saw the common pattern of how my own ideas of success became my own stumbling blocks- caused me unecessary afflictions, anxiety and injuries. It was time-consuming and on restrospect, silly.
God wants to bring us to grander scenery- why do we fear? He wants to take us on the best ride. His cross for us to bear may not be as big as the ones we impose on ourselves.
"So yea, continue to let go. Let Him take over the wheel."
Towards the end, I brought up an issue which I had been thinking about a great deal over the past few months. About a friendship which I wanted to cut off and abandon because I was too afraid.
"I mean, this is crazy. What's going to happen?"
"Precisely. You don't know. Let God decide, let Him drive. Because when you do, you'll feel a sense of freedom."
"Aw man, no. You don't understand, this is a mountain coming. You said that my life is full of roller coasters, didn't you? This is, for sure, going to be a huge mountain and He's driving me right into it! I haven't been able to stop it, He drove me right into it!"
"Who said life was about avoiding mountains?"
"Ah, I see. So it's about climbing the right ones."
"Exactly. And as far as I'm concerned, this is the one opportunity where you can finally give God the chance to show you that He's a better driver than you."
Okay God, I'm getting out of the driver's seat and onto the passenger seat. But before you take off and hit the road, let me fasten my seat-belts. I know you're a safe driver and will never let me come to harm, but I know, you're a much bigger adventure junkie than I could ever be.
Let go. Let Him take over.
And hang on tight.
“For this is God, our God forever and ever;
He will be our guide even to death.”
- Psalm 48:14
I knew she was on to something. And I knew, she was about to help me discover something magical, something that smelled refreshing and nostalgic and ancient and fresh. So I stayed on track, trying to catch a whiff of the trail.
"Yea, I have. But what am I to do?"
Silence.
"So, what are you saying?" I asked, smiling a little, not wanting to sound confrontational.
"What I'm saying is, I've noticed that your life seems to consist of climbing one mountain after the next, and all I'm wondering is, whether you feel tired, and if you exercise enough self-care. Like what we talked about at our last session."
We were on the topic of my next book. About it going to be published soon, about the difficulties which came with it and which will come along with it. We were talking about my upcoming final examinations, my ruminations about how my previous illness had taken away what I wished it hadn't. We were talking about that recurrent topic in our conversations, about that melancholic sense of lonliness inside of me because of my desire to do missions and to live my life differently.
"So how does doing all these things make you feel?"
"I mean, I guess I feel fulfilled. But to be honest, sometimes I do feel lonely. I mean, on the outside it looks great. Like, people think I have it all together- studies, community service, friends etc. But hey, I only got 24 hours in a day, so something's gotta go- I end up doing a lot of "purposeful" things. You're right. Sometimes, I get tired. And it feels lonely. But I mean, I've come to accept it- because, I feel called to do this sorta thing."
"Sure."
Silence.
"But I guess, part of the roller-coaster bit of my life, part of my previous illness was because I tried so hard to be in control. There're so many factors in life- I can't control the results of my studies, I can't control my future residency, I can't control what people think of me, I can't control where I'll be headed next, so the eating disorder was the best way for me to feel in control."
"Absolutely."
Silence.
"So do you see, how you've compartmentalised God? Like you give Him control over this, this and this, but not over that, that and that? And because of that, do you see how you tend to climb your own mountains, one after another, to experience that temporary high? But they're barren mountains. They're all barren. All that unecessary drama was from you driving by yourself because you feared that God would take you elsewhere you feared you wouldn't be able to cope."
Epiphany moment.
"Yea... you're... right."
Do you, like me, struggle to be in the driver's seat? Do you fear the change in scenery, the feeling like you don't know where you're being driven to, and if you'd be taken to a place where, gasp, you might not be able to cope?
I know I do.
I've always striven to be behind the wheel, so I think I know exactly where I'm going. The truth is, even with both hands behind the steering wheel, we never do. How can we, for only God knows our futures and our lives. The ironic part is, we, in our ignorance, in spite of our best intentions, then often drive ourselves up mountains that we were never meant to climb.
"Why do you want to drive up barren mountains, when God wants to bring you to lusher, grander, more beautiful mountains on the other side? Has it occurred to you, that perhaps, in spite of all your fears about not knowing where He might take you, you may very well be driving yourself up a far more difficult terrain than what He has planned for you?"
I thought about my previous illness, my publishing journey in writing and illustrating books as well as my self-striving in terms of training in triathlon. I saw the common pattern of how my own ideas of success became my own stumbling blocks- caused me unecessary afflictions, anxiety and injuries. It was time-consuming and on restrospect, silly.
God wants to bring us to grander scenery- why do we fear? He wants to take us on the best ride. His cross for us to bear may not be as big as the ones we impose on ourselves.
"So yea, continue to let go. Let Him take over the wheel."
Towards the end, I brought up an issue which I had been thinking about a great deal over the past few months. About a friendship which I wanted to cut off and abandon because I was too afraid.
"I mean, this is crazy. What's going to happen?"
"Precisely. You don't know. Let God decide, let Him drive. Because when you do, you'll feel a sense of freedom."
"Aw man, no. You don't understand, this is a mountain coming. You said that my life is full of roller coasters, didn't you? This is, for sure, going to be a huge mountain and He's driving me right into it! I haven't been able to stop it, He drove me right into it!"
"Who said life was about avoiding mountains?"
"Ah, I see. So it's about climbing the right ones."
"Exactly. And as far as I'm concerned, this is the one opportunity where you can finally give God the chance to show you that He's a better driver than you."
Okay God, I'm getting out of the driver's seat and onto the passenger seat. But before you take off and hit the road, let me fasten my seat-belts. I know you're a safe driver and will never let me come to harm, but I know, you're a much bigger adventure junkie than I could ever be.
Let go. Let Him take over.
And hang on tight.
“For this is God, our God forever and ever;
He will be our guide even to death.”
- Psalm 48:14
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Is your blog dead?
A few days ago, i was asked whether my blog was dead.
Umm....Seems like it i think...
Umm....Seems like it i think...
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Not for naught.
It's funny. I think it's easy to see God in volunteer work, in humanitarian trips and in charitable deeds. But how about in seemingly more frivolous things, like in what you do in your free time... say for me, like swimming, biking and running for example?
Like some of you already know, I've been struggling with the T-word for the longest time. After tearing my hamstring, I struggled with God and asked Him to show me if Triathlon was something meaningless, something sandcastled on pride, something that took time away from real work, from helping others etc. At one point, I was ready to give it up. I gave away all my medals. I fasted from cycling for more than 3 months. I sat down to reflect on things.
God, was this all just a frivolous waste of time.
Sometimes, God answers in funny ways.
That day, in Smokey mountain in the pouring rain, as I held that wounded 7-year old boy who was shivering naked in the rain in my arms, it suddenly made sense to me. Suddenly, at that moment, triathlon made sense to me. I'd always asked God how the sport could be reconciled with medicine or missions.
There and then, it suddenly made sense.
The rain bothered everyone, and the 3 photographers worried if I was able to tolerate the conditions. To be honest, after all those times of training in dirty open water and cycling and running after, feeling wet and sticky had become natural; when I had to carry the little boy in my arms because the rest of them had too much bulky camera equipment to lug around, I found myself strong enough because of how swimming had changed my arms, shoulders and lower back; when we had to trudge through the cold over the treacherous terrain for the entire day, I found that I had the stamina to do so because of my aerobic base.
I realized, that all those times during my surgical internship where I had to be fast enough to run up and down storeys in the hospital to get things done for patients were possible because of how training had changed my body. I realized, that I could push myself to work harder and put in more effort for my patients in the middle of the night on a 36-hour call when I reminded myself of the hardships endured in racing- completing the 90km bike of the half-iron man relay had been a defining moment.
I could, because that was God had used, has been using triathlon to do, to strengthen me for this sort of unexpected work.
Just a few years ago, even holding a bag was difficult for my frail, emaciated body. I was like chaff in wind.
So I'm not looking back. Triathlon has not been for nothing. I got my medals back, because I realised, that they belonged not only to me, but to the community of friends and my family, whom God had brought to me through the sport to bring me to a place of health, joy and freedom. My prof understood, and thanked me for giving him the privilege to hold them for 7 months while I realigned my priorities and made a commitment not to race till after my final examinations.
All this while when I was recovering from my hamstring, God used the pain to teach me self-restraint, moderation and respect for my own body. Just this week, a fellow triathlete phoned me because he needed advice- he had suffered the exact same injury as I.
I learnt, that God gives us hobbies and activities, not only to shape our characters and to mould us, but to offer the same encouragement we found through common experiences to others going through similar battles. Our "frivolous" hobbies may not be so, after all.
Do you have something you enjoy doing but think is meaningless, too? Have you tried asking God to show you the beautiful meaning behind your love for baking, your ability to carry conversation or your stamp collection, ha?
My cycling buddies and I did a round-island 70km ride today, and for the first time cycling since my injury, I have no pain.
Thank you God for healing me, and for showing me meaning in this beautiful sport. Thank you for the gift of hobbies that you use to sharpen us, and for giving us that divine present called Joy, which we can exult in guiltlessly when we open our hearts to the possibility of learning life lessons through them. Thank you for my friends and cycling buddies, whom I miss so very much since I've been missing our regular rides due to extra lectures at school.
Most of all, thank you for showing me that through it all, you had a purpose for everything, and nothing was for naught.
I'm looking forward to doing a triathlon next year, God permitting. I'm not through with you just yet.
Like some of you already know, I've been struggling with the T-word for the longest time. After tearing my hamstring, I struggled with God and asked Him to show me if Triathlon was something meaningless, something sandcastled on pride, something that took time away from real work, from helping others etc. At one point, I was ready to give it up. I gave away all my medals. I fasted from cycling for more than 3 months. I sat down to reflect on things.
God, was this all just a frivolous waste of time.
Sometimes, God answers in funny ways.
That day, in Smokey mountain in the pouring rain, as I held that wounded 7-year old boy who was shivering naked in the rain in my arms, it suddenly made sense to me. Suddenly, at that moment, triathlon made sense to me. I'd always asked God how the sport could be reconciled with medicine or missions.
There and then, it suddenly made sense.
The rain bothered everyone, and the 3 photographers worried if I was able to tolerate the conditions. To be honest, after all those times of training in dirty open water and cycling and running after, feeling wet and sticky had become natural; when I had to carry the little boy in my arms because the rest of them had too much bulky camera equipment to lug around, I found myself strong enough because of how swimming had changed my arms, shoulders and lower back; when we had to trudge through the cold over the treacherous terrain for the entire day, I found that I had the stamina to do so because of my aerobic base.
I realized, that all those times during my surgical internship where I had to be fast enough to run up and down storeys in the hospital to get things done for patients were possible because of how training had changed my body. I realized, that I could push myself to work harder and put in more effort for my patients in the middle of the night on a 36-hour call when I reminded myself of the hardships endured in racing- completing the 90km bike of the half-iron man relay had been a defining moment.
I could, because that was God had used, has been using triathlon to do, to strengthen me for this sort of unexpected work.
Just a few years ago, even holding a bag was difficult for my frail, emaciated body. I was like chaff in wind.
So I'm not looking back. Triathlon has not been for nothing. I got my medals back, because I realised, that they belonged not only to me, but to the community of friends and my family, whom God had brought to me through the sport to bring me to a place of health, joy and freedom. My prof understood, and thanked me for giving him the privilege to hold them for 7 months while I realigned my priorities and made a commitment not to race till after my final examinations.
All this while when I was recovering from my hamstring, God used the pain to teach me self-restraint, moderation and respect for my own body. Just this week, a fellow triathlete phoned me because he needed advice- he had suffered the exact same injury as I.
I learnt, that God gives us hobbies and activities, not only to shape our characters and to mould us, but to offer the same encouragement we found through common experiences to others going through similar battles. Our "frivolous" hobbies may not be so, after all.
Do you have something you enjoy doing but think is meaningless, too? Have you tried asking God to show you the beautiful meaning behind your love for baking, your ability to carry conversation or your stamp collection, ha?
My cycling buddies and I did a round-island 70km ride today, and for the first time cycling since my injury, I have no pain.
Thank you God for healing me, and for showing me meaning in this beautiful sport. Thank you for the gift of hobbies that you use to sharpen us, and for giving us that divine present called Joy, which we can exult in guiltlessly when we open our hearts to the possibility of learning life lessons through them. Thank you for my friends and cycling buddies, whom I miss so very much since I've been missing our regular rides due to extra lectures at school.
Most of all, thank you for showing me that through it all, you had a purpose for everything, and nothing was for naught.
I'm looking forward to doing a triathlon next year, God permitting. I'm not through with you just yet.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Can you own a property when you're young in Malaysia?
Getting married at the age of 26 in Malaysia is nothing new nowadays. (If there was anything new, it would be marrying at the age of 14 by this girl.)
Showing your deepest love for your loved one on facebook is nothing new at all.
Buying a new car at the age of 26 is nothing new.
Buying the latest new iphone 4 is nothing new.
Even owning a business is nothing new at all. (I don't mean char koay teow business ok)
However, two days ago, a friend showed me something that was new with her.
She bought a property, A HOUSE, A NEW CONDOMINIUM UNIT somewhere around Mont Kiara in Kuala Lumpur.
A condominium unit that has a swiming pool, jacuzzi, gym, and boasting a view that can see Genting Highlands from afar and twin towers as well in another direction.
This is not some low-cost flat or studio unit. This is the REAL THING. Bang for the buck.
After working for a mere five years, she has manged to save up enough money to purchase a property that was worth at that point in time RM300 thousand dollars which today has already somehow upscaled in price which can fetch to something closer to half a million ringgit.
Which means to say, if she sold it today, she would have earned a cool cash of 200 thousand ringgit. That's the kind of money you can only get a chance of earning as quick in Genting Highlands Malaysia or Singapore for that matter.
Her condominium unit was fully furnished with air-cond, had 3 rooms, one lovely modern designed kitchen, a wet kitchen. two toilets, and a nice wooden floor. All this came out from her deep pockets that she saved over the past 5 years.
While sitting there on her lovely couch watching an LCD TV dat also came from her deep pockets, I couldn't help but realize the joy in her face of achieving something that not anybody can just do it over night.
Not even Mr Gin can do it despite himself working for the same amount of time. Despite the numerous amount of investment, working extra time, and also try to make a living through blogging, Mr Gin is unable to even own a property anytime soon. He happens to fall into the category where property prices are relatively 10 times his normal wage. Even the banks would not even in their right mind think of giving out a loan without risking Mr Gin being the next contestant of bankrupty in Malaysia.
I have met so many people who told me of their first experiences in owning their first property, and most of them spent half their life chasing for money before doing so.
What i'm trying to say is, my friend has done a brilliant job in getting her first property at such a young age where most people can only dream of. It's a start towards a brighter future. She definitely shows that you can own a property when you're young. So if you're 26 years old, and haven't gotten a property yet, please relook at your finances. You've not done enough!
DAMN!!
Showing your deepest love for your loved one on facebook is nothing new at all.
Buying a new car at the age of 26 is nothing new.
Buying the latest new iphone 4 is nothing new.
Even owning a business is nothing new at all. (I don't mean char koay teow business ok)
However, two days ago, a friend showed me something that was new with her.
She bought a property, A HOUSE, A NEW CONDOMINIUM UNIT somewhere around Mont Kiara in Kuala Lumpur.
A condominium unit that has a swiming pool, jacuzzi, gym, and boasting a view that can see Genting Highlands from afar and twin towers as well in another direction.
This is not some low-cost flat or studio unit. This is the REAL THING. Bang for the buck.
After working for a mere five years, she has manged to save up enough money to purchase a property that was worth at that point in time RM300 thousand dollars which today has already somehow upscaled in price which can fetch to something closer to half a million ringgit.
Which means to say, if she sold it today, she would have earned a cool cash of 200 thousand ringgit. That's the kind of money you can only get a chance of earning as quick in Genting Highlands Malaysia or Singapore for that matter.
Her condominium unit was fully furnished with air-cond, had 3 rooms, one lovely modern designed kitchen, a wet kitchen. two toilets, and a nice wooden floor. All this came out from her deep pockets that she saved over the past 5 years.
While sitting there on her lovely couch watching an LCD TV dat also came from her deep pockets, I couldn't help but realize the joy in her face of achieving something that not anybody can just do it over night.
Not even Mr Gin can do it despite himself working for the same amount of time. Despite the numerous amount of investment, working extra time, and also try to make a living through blogging, Mr Gin is unable to even own a property anytime soon. He happens to fall into the category where property prices are relatively 10 times his normal wage. Even the banks would not even in their right mind think of giving out a loan without risking Mr Gin being the next contestant of bankrupty in Malaysia.
I have met so many people who told me of their first experiences in owning their first property, and most of them spent half their life chasing for money before doing so.
What i'm trying to say is, my friend has done a brilliant job in getting her first property at such a young age where most people can only dream of. It's a start towards a brighter future. She definitely shows that you can own a property when you're young. So if you're 26 years old, and haven't gotten a property yet, please relook at your finances. You've not done enough!
DAMN!!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Why not me.
*story published with permission.
From afar, I knew he was on longterm medication. To be precise, I knew he was on steroids.
Moon-like facies, peripheral wasting, central obesity. The medical list of the spot diagnosis came up in my head, and my mind ran like an automated printer churning the list of complications that this patient might have even before we spoke. Medical school trains us like that- to think 2 steps ahead at all times.
Osteoperosis (brittle bones). Hypertension (high blood pressure). Diabetes Mellitus. Hypercholesterolemia. Depression.
It turned out he had had them all before.
From afar, I also knew he was different. A big black book with golden edges sat on his table. He was about to open it when I walked over.
"Is that a bible?" I asked tentatively.
He smiled. "Yes."
There was something about his countenance which lit up that dark, quiet ward, beneath the whirling fans. I smiled. I was a little nervous about approaching him for an interview to take his medical history (an exam skill which we need to hone), since many hoardes of students must have, like me, 'pestered' him before, but he put me at ease.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. S, many students must have come to speak to you. Is it all right if I ask you similar questions?"
"Of course. Come, sit down."
So we talked. Some people like to find out what the patient's medical condition is first. I prefer to know his age and occupation, for it helps build rapport and speaks volumes of a person.
"I'm a pastor. Actually, I'm a missionary."
Time stood still for 2 seconds and goosebumps came up all over me.
"Did you say missionary? Where to?"
"China."
"Oh my, do you know Dr. Tan Lai Yong? The missionary doctor?"
"Yea, I do. We work with similar rural tribes."
"Wow, you know, I entered medical school to be a medical missionary too."
A clean, cool presence swept over us. Smiles broke out on both our faces.
"I was diagnosed with lupus when I was 25. The doctors said my kidneys would fail me in 2 years. It was then that I started to believe in God. My kidneys eventually stabilised, I went on to become a pastor and missionary in China... But I got TB (tuberculosis), and cellulitis (skin infection) from the immunosuppressants I'm taking, so I'm back here for treatment."
"When you were diagnosed with lupus, what else did you suffer from?"
He laughed. That surprised me. Most patients, on recollecting their suffering, recount it in neutral tones of grey, brown and black. But he told it in colour, in hues of emotion and reminiscence.
"Back then, it all started with mouth ulcers, and skin rashes on my face and cheeks. Here's my picture before." His boyish photo taken 25 years ago showed the typical butterfly rash of lupus patients.
" Then I had seizures, low blood counts, and depression. My kidneys failed, I had to take medication and then I became severely depressed."
I grew quiet, I was speechless for a moment. I had studied the signs of lupus before, and seen many patients with various degrees of this illness, but never had I met someone who had suffered the full blown manifestations of this terrible autoimmune disease.
Malar rash. Discoid rash. Photosensitivity. Mouth ulcers. Serositis. Nephritis. Haematological disorders. Neurological disturbances. Depression. Joint pains.
He had had them all. This did not even include the side effects of medication.
I sat there, in awe at the quiet resilience this man's experience had developed in him, in awe at his joyfulness and most of all, in awe at his commitment to serve the less fortunate in spite of the odds. I looked for wrinkles of bitterness, of resentment perhaps, and of resignation on his face but found none.
"May I ask you a personal question?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"I mean... after all this that's happened to you, don't you ever ask God why? I mean, why you? You're a good man, serving God and the needy. Don't you ever ask why all this had to happen to you, question the injustice of it all, become envious of the normal life other people live? You were serving faithfully as a missionary, don't you get angry with God? Why you?"
"Why me," he said. "How about, why not me?" He chuckled.
He actually chuckled. What was funny about this?
My mind somersaulted, and flipped over like a tossed pancake.
"Why not me?" he said, " You know, I believe God planned illness."
"Whoa whoa whoa," I said. This was senstive ground. "No, illness is from evil- God did not create evil, but yes, I believe He does allow certain things to befall us in light of a greater plan."
"Well," he said, "I agree and disagree. Yes, the devil created evil, but God also plans and orchestrates it into our lives for a grander purpose that we may not understand. I don't think my theology is wrong. Look at the man named Job in the bible. He suffered. Big time. And only because God gave the devil permission. But it all turned out for the best, there was a greater purpose behind it, it was not for nothing."
"Why not me," I echoed.
What a paradigm shift. I had heard this phrase used before, but to hear it from the lips of a man who had been through such hardship was powerful, to say the least.
I thought about my previous hamstring injury, about how I struggled and questioned God about my pain- God, why does this happen to me? I do so many things for you and am faithful to do my best to balance my sport with serving others- why do other people get away with things so easily? How unfair can you be? I thought about the many excuses people like myself make for not going to the mission field to help the less fortunate when we have healthy bodies. Oh I have work, I have this constraint and that constraint... ... I won't be hardy enough, it's too tough.... I thought my previous long struggle with anorexia and depression and how I had thrown my fist and thrown tantrums at God for His apparent silence.
Why not me?
When we think about our lives, full of mistakes and errs and blunders and offenses, as being bought over and redeemed by God's love for us, we then begin to cherish the fact none of what we have is deserved. Yes, I suffered lots for my illness 3 years ago but who ever said life ought to be easy? Yes, I tore my hamstring this year- it might never be the same again, but who said I had the right to do triathlon in the first place? My bike, my legs, my cardiovascular system are all blessings, gifts of grace. Joy, is a gift.
And that, was the greatest lesson Pastor S taught me.
As he spoke, tears started to dam up behind my eyes.
He was married too, serving together with his wife in China. "If you remember, please tell your wife that even though I've never met her, I admire her faith and trust. Both are you are very special."
I remember a question my colleagues and I were discussing, whether we would marry anyone with a long-standing medical illness. We were surprised at how varied everybody's responses were. Not everyone has the kind of courage or nerve to do so.
"Now I have a question for you," he said. " I'm very encouraged by your passion for God and the needy. You have only believed in God for 5 years. That really surprises me, because you talk like you've known God for ages. Can you tell me, what makes you so passionate, so committed to your calling?"
Silence. My mind winded around my heart like a sinewy vine and gripped it.
"It was my illness. When I was ill, those years really tested and grew my faith."
That's when the tears fell.
"You see, God has a reason for everything."
These few days, I've been struggling with God with regards to the illnesses that some of my friends struggle with, namely cancers and infections. Why do they have this lot in life? Why God? It was at that moment that I saw, that everything had, has a reason. Till today, a part of me still resents the fact I had suffered those years. Why did they have to be in medical school when I had a price to pay. But now I see how those years have shaped me, given me a kind of resilience towards life, a kind of compassion for my patients and a daredevil-attitude when it comes to going the distance and taking risks for causes I believe in.
"All my life, I've only met 2 humble doctors. I'm sorry to say, I think most doctors are very proud. I think you are the third one. I will pray for your final exams."
I suppose, illness has its way of keeping us grounded, reminding us of our feet of clay. And God has His way of humbling me when my feet drift off the ground.
Do you struggle too? Are you in a trial which you feel is unfair, unjustified? Are you bitter? Do you, like me, often ask why me?
Then like Pastor S, ask, why not me. And perhaps, the world will spin on its right axis for you again.
"Thank you Pastor S. Meeting you has been a great blessing."
"I feel like I've been blessed more than I have blessed you, haha."
When we begin to see the little things in life as gifts and not rights, and learn to appreciate the cost God paid to love us, we give room for gratitude and personal growth in our lives.
Why not me.
Thank you Pastor S. You get well soon, and hope to see you in the mission field someday.
“It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn Your statutes.”
Psalm 119:71
“This is my comfort in my affliction,
that your promise gives me life.”
-Ps 119:50
From afar, I knew he was on longterm medication. To be precise, I knew he was on steroids.
Moon-like facies, peripheral wasting, central obesity. The medical list of the spot diagnosis came up in my head, and my mind ran like an automated printer churning the list of complications that this patient might have even before we spoke. Medical school trains us like that- to think 2 steps ahead at all times.
Osteoperosis (brittle bones). Hypertension (high blood pressure). Diabetes Mellitus. Hypercholesterolemia. Depression.
It turned out he had had them all before.
From afar, I also knew he was different. A big black book with golden edges sat on his table. He was about to open it when I walked over.
"Is that a bible?" I asked tentatively.
He smiled. "Yes."
There was something about his countenance which lit up that dark, quiet ward, beneath the whirling fans. I smiled. I was a little nervous about approaching him for an interview to take his medical history (an exam skill which we need to hone), since many hoardes of students must have, like me, 'pestered' him before, but he put me at ease.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. S, many students must have come to speak to you. Is it all right if I ask you similar questions?"
"Of course. Come, sit down."
So we talked. Some people like to find out what the patient's medical condition is first. I prefer to know his age and occupation, for it helps build rapport and speaks volumes of a person.
"I'm a pastor. Actually, I'm a missionary."
Time stood still for 2 seconds and goosebumps came up all over me.
"Did you say missionary? Where to?"
"China."
"Oh my, do you know Dr. Tan Lai Yong? The missionary doctor?"
"Yea, I do. We work with similar rural tribes."
"Wow, you know, I entered medical school to be a medical missionary too."
A clean, cool presence swept over us. Smiles broke out on both our faces.
"I was diagnosed with lupus when I was 25. The doctors said my kidneys would fail me in 2 years. It was then that I started to believe in God. My kidneys eventually stabilised, I went on to become a pastor and missionary in China... But I got TB (tuberculosis), and cellulitis (skin infection) from the immunosuppressants I'm taking, so I'm back here for treatment."
"When you were diagnosed with lupus, what else did you suffer from?"
He laughed. That surprised me. Most patients, on recollecting their suffering, recount it in neutral tones of grey, brown and black. But he told it in colour, in hues of emotion and reminiscence.
"Back then, it all started with mouth ulcers, and skin rashes on my face and cheeks. Here's my picture before." His boyish photo taken 25 years ago showed the typical butterfly rash of lupus patients.
" Then I had seizures, low blood counts, and depression. My kidneys failed, I had to take medication and then I became severely depressed."
I grew quiet, I was speechless for a moment. I had studied the signs of lupus before, and seen many patients with various degrees of this illness, but never had I met someone who had suffered the full blown manifestations of this terrible autoimmune disease.
Malar rash. Discoid rash. Photosensitivity. Mouth ulcers. Serositis. Nephritis. Haematological disorders. Neurological disturbances. Depression. Joint pains.
He had had them all. This did not even include the side effects of medication.
I sat there, in awe at the quiet resilience this man's experience had developed in him, in awe at his joyfulness and most of all, in awe at his commitment to serve the less fortunate in spite of the odds. I looked for wrinkles of bitterness, of resentment perhaps, and of resignation on his face but found none.
"May I ask you a personal question?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"I mean... after all this that's happened to you, don't you ever ask God why? I mean, why you? You're a good man, serving God and the needy. Don't you ever ask why all this had to happen to you, question the injustice of it all, become envious of the normal life other people live? You were serving faithfully as a missionary, don't you get angry with God? Why you?"
"Why me," he said. "How about, why not me?" He chuckled.
He actually chuckled. What was funny about this?
My mind somersaulted, and flipped over like a tossed pancake.
"Why not me?" he said, " You know, I believe God planned illness."
"Whoa whoa whoa," I said. This was senstive ground. "No, illness is from evil- God did not create evil, but yes, I believe He does allow certain things to befall us in light of a greater plan."
"Well," he said, "I agree and disagree. Yes, the devil created evil, but God also plans and orchestrates it into our lives for a grander purpose that we may not understand. I don't think my theology is wrong. Look at the man named Job in the bible. He suffered. Big time. And only because God gave the devil permission. But it all turned out for the best, there was a greater purpose behind it, it was not for nothing."
"Why not me," I echoed.
What a paradigm shift. I had heard this phrase used before, but to hear it from the lips of a man who had been through such hardship was powerful, to say the least.
I thought about my previous hamstring injury, about how I struggled and questioned God about my pain- God, why does this happen to me? I do so many things for you and am faithful to do my best to balance my sport with serving others- why do other people get away with things so easily? How unfair can you be? I thought about the many excuses people like myself make for not going to the mission field to help the less fortunate when we have healthy bodies. Oh I have work, I have this constraint and that constraint... ... I won't be hardy enough, it's too tough.... I thought my previous long struggle with anorexia and depression and how I had thrown my fist and thrown tantrums at God for His apparent silence.
Why not me?
When we think about our lives, full of mistakes and errs and blunders and offenses, as being bought over and redeemed by God's love for us, we then begin to cherish the fact none of what we have is deserved. Yes, I suffered lots for my illness 3 years ago but who ever said life ought to be easy? Yes, I tore my hamstring this year- it might never be the same again, but who said I had the right to do triathlon in the first place? My bike, my legs, my cardiovascular system are all blessings, gifts of grace. Joy, is a gift.
And that, was the greatest lesson Pastor S taught me.
As he spoke, tears started to dam up behind my eyes.
He was married too, serving together with his wife in China. "If you remember, please tell your wife that even though I've never met her, I admire her faith and trust. Both are you are very special."
I remember a question my colleagues and I were discussing, whether we would marry anyone with a long-standing medical illness. We were surprised at how varied everybody's responses were. Not everyone has the kind of courage or nerve to do so.
"Now I have a question for you," he said. " I'm very encouraged by your passion for God and the needy. You have only believed in God for 5 years. That really surprises me, because you talk like you've known God for ages. Can you tell me, what makes you so passionate, so committed to your calling?"
Silence. My mind winded around my heart like a sinewy vine and gripped it.
"It was my illness. When I was ill, those years really tested and grew my faith."
That's when the tears fell.
"You see, God has a reason for everything."
These few days, I've been struggling with God with regards to the illnesses that some of my friends struggle with, namely cancers and infections. Why do they have this lot in life? Why God? It was at that moment that I saw, that everything had, has a reason. Till today, a part of me still resents the fact I had suffered those years. Why did they have to be in medical school when I had a price to pay. But now I see how those years have shaped me, given me a kind of resilience towards life, a kind of compassion for my patients and a daredevil-attitude when it comes to going the distance and taking risks for causes I believe in.
"All my life, I've only met 2 humble doctors. I'm sorry to say, I think most doctors are very proud. I think you are the third one. I will pray for your final exams."
I suppose, illness has its way of keeping us grounded, reminding us of our feet of clay. And God has His way of humbling me when my feet drift off the ground.
Do you struggle too? Are you in a trial which you feel is unfair, unjustified? Are you bitter? Do you, like me, often ask why me?
Then like Pastor S, ask, why not me. And perhaps, the world will spin on its right axis for you again.
"Thank you Pastor S. Meeting you has been a great blessing."
"I feel like I've been blessed more than I have blessed you, haha."
When we begin to see the little things in life as gifts and not rights, and learn to appreciate the cost God paid to love us, we give room for gratitude and personal growth in our lives.
Why not me.
Thank you Pastor S. You get well soon, and hope to see you in the mission field someday.
“It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn Your statutes.”
Psalm 119:71
“This is my comfort in my affliction,
that your promise gives me life.”
-Ps 119:50
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Paying Polis Saman at Queensbay Mall Penang
Last weekend, I went to Queensbay Mall Penang which happens to be the largest mall in Penang (well at least to me that is)
I went there not to see Christmas Decorations to get into the spirit of Christmas.
I wasn't there to see Fashion Shows.
I wasn't going there to seat outside of queensbay mall where coconut trees are held with stilts beside the sea and wait for the moon to shine.
And more importantly, I wasn't going there to do any shopping either, sadly when even Christmas is just around the corner.
The only difference between what normal people would do there was completely different from what I was going there for.
I WENT THERE TO PAY POLIS TRAFFIC SAMAN AGAIN! (I had to because for some reason my traffic saman does not show up on myeg website but instead comes up on JPJ. Coincidence?)
If you have read my previous post, I couldn't pay my polis saman as they had a problem with their system.
But I decided that my second attempt in trying to settle my summons at a 50% discount should be done at the MALL as i've heard they have a booth over there.
I mean how bad can it get...Its inside a mall. It should be nice and cold isn't it?
Well things did not quite turn out that way because as it turns out...
I had to queue up with 60 over people ahead of me waiting for the booth to open up at 2pm outside the mall and not inside. I was there 40 minutes early thinking I would be one of the early birds to get my traffic summons setttled the moment the counter opens but then again..that did not happen and i became an angry bird.
It was really a rainy afternoon and despite the heavy rain, people were standing equipped with their umbrellas waiting to settle their summon/s.
After waiting for half an hour after the booth was opened, I realized that the queue was getting no where that I decided to abandon all hopes of settling the saman at the discounted rate. The queue was so long because they only had one counter open despite knowing and seeing the huge response from the public to pay up their saman over the past one week.
The queue was so long that even some of them had to risk their lives whenever a car wanted to drive through to park their car inside the mall.
Anyway, I know this saman discount thing would come as a gift for christmas, but as a suggestion, I think the polis could at least make an attempt to make the transaction of settling saman's much easier to the public.
Here's some suggestions: -
1) Set up many computers and hire part time staff to receive payment of saman and issue receipts during such operation discount schemes held by the polis.
2) Set up many counters inside the shopping mall and not outside whenever you hold such operation discount schemes.
3) Have a numbering queue system.
4) Provide proper seats for customers.
5) Senior Citizens should be allowed to jump queue to settle their summons.
There's just so much the polis can think off before holding such schemes next time...well since you can't do it this time anyway..
I went back home having the last glimpse of the queue knowing full well that I made the right decision to move on instead of standing there under the rain. I guess i'll just have to settle the saman at the original full rate. This is my last attempt!
I went there not to see Christmas Decorations to get into the spirit of Christmas.
I wasn't there to see Fashion Shows.
I wasn't going there to seat outside of queensbay mall where coconut trees are held with stilts beside the sea and wait for the moon to shine.
And more importantly, I wasn't going there to do any shopping either, sadly when even Christmas is just around the corner.
The only difference between what normal people would do there was completely different from what I was going there for.
I WENT THERE TO PAY POLIS TRAFFIC SAMAN AGAIN! (I had to because for some reason my traffic saman does not show up on myeg website but instead comes up on JPJ. Coincidence?)
If you have read my previous post, I couldn't pay my polis saman as they had a problem with their system.
But I decided that my second attempt in trying to settle my summons at a 50% discount should be done at the MALL as i've heard they have a booth over there.
I mean how bad can it get...Its inside a mall. It should be nice and cold isn't it?
Well things did not quite turn out that way because as it turns out...
I had to queue up with 60 over people ahead of me waiting for the booth to open up at 2pm outside the mall and not inside. I was there 40 minutes early thinking I would be one of the early birds to get my traffic summons setttled the moment the counter opens but then again..that did not happen and i became an angry bird.
It was really a rainy afternoon and despite the heavy rain, people were standing equipped with their umbrellas waiting to settle their summon/s.
After waiting for half an hour after the booth was opened, I realized that the queue was getting no where that I decided to abandon all hopes of settling the saman at the discounted rate. The queue was so long because they only had one counter open despite knowing and seeing the huge response from the public to pay up their saman over the past one week.
The queue was so long that even some of them had to risk their lives whenever a car wanted to drive through to park their car inside the mall.
Anyway, I know this saman discount thing would come as a gift for christmas, but as a suggestion, I think the polis could at least make an attempt to make the transaction of settling saman's much easier to the public.
Here's some suggestions: -
1) Set up many computers and hire part time staff to receive payment of saman and issue receipts during such operation discount schemes held by the polis.
2) Set up many counters inside the shopping mall and not outside whenever you hold such operation discount schemes.
3) Have a numbering queue system.
4) Provide proper seats for customers.
5) Senior Citizens should be allowed to jump queue to settle their summons.
There's just so much the polis can think off before holding such schemes next time...well since you can't do it this time anyway..
I went back home having the last glimpse of the queue knowing full well that I made the right decision to move on instead of standing there under the rain. I guess i'll just have to settle the saman at the original full rate. This is my last attempt!
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