Today, everything seemed to come full circle. And after so long, I finally understood.
Kitesong. My bike. Anorexia. Alisha. The doctors. Money. People like you who visit this space. They all seem like such disparate things. But today, they were all weaved together, intricately, beautifully and seamlessly.
Just 4 months back, I hadn't much hope that any of us could help Alisha. Things seemed rather bleak for her. Just 3 and a half months back, I hadn't a clue just who I was sitting next to during the fundraising dinner, just how remarkable Ms K is. Just 3 months back, I hadn't any idea that my bike would have anything to do with this little 4-year old and her future or my dreams. Today, it all made sense.
"Yes, do come over. Would you like to come to my dialysis centre? Looking forward to meeting you," Ms K said.
During that fundraising dinner 3 months ago, I sat next to a woman who doesn't work in the traditional sense of the word, but who gives her life to needy patients and impacts lives one at a time. During another fundraising dinner I attended last Saturday when I made an appeal for Alisha's case, my professor who heard my appeal told me, " You must apply for funding for Alisha through this foundation/trust- I know the lady who owns it. She will most definitely help you." Little did I realise the person behind this trust was the same woman I had sat next to, and whom I met for coffee just a month back. How could I not have seen God's hand in this all.
So today, I, together with Jo (the missionary), Alisha and her mother Maili went down to visit Ms K at the dialysis centre she runs for needy patients. There she was, in simple down-to-earth clothes, in a humble setting of a heartlander area, smiling and talking to the many kidney patients who were on their routine dialysis treatment. This was the woman I had heard so much about. When I saw her, watched her and listened to her tell me story after story of the lives of the people she had touched, my hair stood on end- for though she had every opportunity to live a life of extravagance because of her background, she chose to live with others in mind. There she was, in simple, humble, down-to-earth clothes and a genuine smile, being greeted heartily by the elderly uncle and the smiling, toothless auntie hooked onto the dialysis machines."So, tell me about Alisha."
And we did. Jo told her about her social enterprise helping destitute women in Nepal, about the many cases of meningitis each year which robs children of their sense of hearing, leaving many developmentally delayed, autistic and abandoned, about how she had noticed Alisha being exceptionally intelligent in spite of her deficiency.
And as we chatted, Alisha happily ate her biscuits dipped into warm milo,
and happily amused us with her very expressive antics and gestures. Here's a picture of her scrunging her face up in mock agony and gesturing how the implant was put behind her left ear.
We went hysterical with laughter watching her gesture her experience to us in her world of profound silence.
" What you've done for her is amazing Josephine," Ms K said. " The amount of time, effort and love you've poured out into helping Alisha, and especially in following her post-operative therapy through is astounding. I will most definitely like to support the remainder of her treatment costs, as well as her future therapy needs. My only condition is that she gets good followup."
Today, everything came full circle. It was as if, after such a long journey of walking through so many disparate points, all the dots came together, and today, when the last dot was joined, I could finally see the big picture from God's perspective.
Having to grapple with letting my wants and my bike go for the needy put me in a place of deeper involvement with Alisha. That opened the door for an open appeal to the doctors in my circle, who linked me to Ms K, whom I would not have been able to meet up so easily with today if it had not been for my publisher's wife who introduced me to her.
Soon after the agreement was made, Jo had to take Alisha and her mother to the hospital for their implant check-up. It was then that Ms K asked me, " So, did you bring your 2nd book along for me to see?"
My 2nd book. A Taste of Rainbow. The book I wrote about courage and faith, to raise awareness about depression and also, eating disorders. It's been on the shelf for more almost 2 years now, since its conception. Looking back, I could see why God stopped it from getting published- I was still journeying toward recovery and put too much of my self-worth into it. The aim to get it published became a god in itself. God made it very clear to me that His promise would stand, that it would eventually be published- but in His own time and own way, in 2011- and not at my whim or demand. The therapists in Singapore General Hospital (SGH) working with people with eating disorders confirmed it too. 2011.
Today, after Jo and Alisha left, Ms K looked at my paintings and writing for A Taste of Rainbow and said, " I like it. It has a good message and a good cause. How can I help? I'm willing to fund it. The next time we meet, let's get together with the people from SGH."
God never fails when He promises. Did you know, that the day I finished the first draft of A Taste of Rainbow, I saw a rainbow in the sky. In the bible, a rainbow signifies God's promise.
If I had not listened to God and given up my bike, I'm not sure if all that happened today would have happened. I'm not sure if all the dots would have joined to form this remarkable picture which I am seeing now. I gave up two-thousand and five hundred dollars, but was given in return a far greater measure. Two weeks ago, Aunty Ay wrote to me, " Wai Jia, God will honor what you did for Alisha- He is no man's debtor and will return to us measure for measure, pressed down and overflowing."I thought she was merely trying to comfort me. Now I see how it is true.
Perhaps I am thinking too much. But perhaps, it's true, that everything happens for a reason.
To those of you who donated money to Alisha's cause, and even took pains to raise money from your friends before getting in touch with me, even though I'm a complete stranger to you, I just want you to know, that your little sacrifice will go a long way. You may not see it now, you may even think your efforts were all wasted, were all made in senseless fruitless compassion since we've found such a generous donor to cover all of Alisha's fees, but someday, you'll see the dots all joined together. Someday, this small effort of yours will build something in you that will reap its harvest much later in life. And when it finally happens, you'll surely say, Ah, I finally understand.
God will never shortchange us. He is no man's debtor.
Thank you for all your love and compassion.
"Give, and it will be given to you:
good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over
will be put into your bosom.
For with the same measure that you use,
it will be measure back to you."
-Luke 6:38
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God,
to those who are called according to His purpose."
-Romans 8:28
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