Vocation.

It’s sort of a parallel universe, a world of its own.

What with its own set of canonical babblings, ritual practices and social expectations, it is a world with its own language, logic and leanings. Everything is in chaos and yet fixed in systematic methodology; relationships attempt to cross boundaries and yet are fixed in rigid hierarchy; language is atrociously steeped in jargon and yet its civilians understand every word and abbreviation and pronunciation. Those highest in position dress most casually while those considered lowest in the merciless chain clad themselves in crisp, iron-pressed uniforms; the strongest are most silent and stoic while the frailest wail resoundingly; those who who know the most hedge themselves in the safety of stoicism while those with the least information drench themselves with tears, anxiety and grief. Such are the idiosyncrasies and quizzical mysteries of this new world.

Those unoriented to its environment and uninitiated into its mysteries cannot hope to understand it. It is a place with its own pulse and rules, of swinging automatic doors and beeping machines, with everything in strict order, in cautious wait of any incident which threatens to defy its carefully and painfully established peace.

Its White Civilians never sleep- they are always on the prowl, babbling in their own language as they stride briskly through the hallways arranged like catacombs. Their eyes stalk every movement, and it is almost as if they were omniscient beings, as those who lay on the white, white beds look upon them as demi-gods. It is almost unnerving.

It’s sort of a paralled universe, a world of its own. A strange, strange place, with its white-washed walls caught between the background of white, white clouds through the glassy windows and the lonely silouettes of the elderly with white, white hair.

The hospital, that is.

It’s been a busy week, with day and night and the next day separated merely by a quiet time sitting by my bedside with an open bible, before falling asleep and crawling into bed in the early morning. Yet, for all its strangeness and peculiarity, one begins to feel the depth of this new world, feel its pulsation of emotions, and its warmth, its care.

I like this new place. It is unlike the previous hospital I was at. Warm sunshine pours into every corner, relieving the white-washed walls with a cheerful tinge of yellow and pink, unlike previously, where the air left one choking in its humidity. As I walk through the aisles basking in the gentle glow of the sunshine, the clouds which tear across the azure sky like ragged horses captures my breath. More importantly, one is inspired by the doctors who work themselves to the bone, rushing from one emergency to the next, and who yet flash out their compassionate, peaceful smiles through their weary eyes in the midst of flurry; by the nurses who bring life and joy to the most important people in this new world- the patients themselves.

There is sterility, whiteness and silence. And gore, and mess and deafening noise. Rush and stress and conflict. And gentleness, clear-headedness and peace. All rolled into one, one spilled out into a little of everything, like a juicy mexican tortilla.

Such was the first week of my proper induction into this fresh new world at the new hospital I had been assigned to. And even as I wonder in amazement how I would ever survive the 36-hour work shifts, the constant ticking of one’s mind without ceasing, the sense of love and genuine concern for every patient and human being, I look at this new team of seasoned doctors I’ve met, their sincerity and concern for every human being, their competence and compassion, and I’ve new hope in a profession which hit me in the face with its brutal insensitivity, disdainful arrogance and hard focus on problem-solving at the previous hospital I had been posted to.

Both are part of this strange, strange world one calls the hospital. Yet, while one is suffocating, because of its architecture and demanding and brisk culture, the other is open, efficient and yet exuding with warmth and love. The doctors smile back at you, answer your innocent questions without caustic sarcasm and the nurses jest with you, giving you help whenever you need it.

A culture shock, of a good kind, was what it was for me. I feel I've found my dream workplace. Both are part of the same world, function just as efficiently, and yet operate as vastly different continents.

Same environment. Different people.

Different people. Different love.

Patients always heal better in a more loving environment. Doctors and nurses function better, too.

No matter what we do, sometimes it’s easy to forget- that at the end of the day, it’s always about people. It’s about a task only to the extent that it concerns a person. Compassion and competence, that’s what you said.

In the busyness of our everyday lives, have we forgotten the point of our work? Have we forgotten our child-sized (which means mega-sized) dreams and ideals about our passions, or have we allowed our environment to shape and change us?

I realize- that one always has a choice. Our worlds may be similar, in terms of its ideals, stresses and demands, but one always has a choice, in every situation. We can choose to let our worlds shape us and allow the white walls to bleach us dry to the bone, bristling with agitation and exasperation and exhaustion for the rest of our lives as we lose ourselves in work, or be the faithful servants who in daily consecration and obedience, be the ones who work ploddingly but passionately, and never forgetting to quietly draw the curtains and open the windows each morning, to let the sunshine peek in.

This culture shock opened my eyes to see just how amazing the power of people's working attitudes can be, how it can shape a community, a culture, and a whole new world of its own.

They were utterly inspiring, not least because they were more knowledgeable or capable, but because they were more sensitive, more patient, more... humble, down-to-earth. There was a charming quality about all who worked there.

Because perhaps after all, after the grand work of whatever we were meant to do, it’s still the little, humble things we do which put everything in perspective, and which bring us and the people around us, faith, hope and joy.

These lovely people reminded me- that it's always about People. They are the heart of why we do what we do, whatever it is that we do.

Bringing them faith, hope and joy, the way good yellow sunshine does- and the view of the open sky up above.

You just know it when you're not famous

Here's a picture that I got from a popular blogger called KennySia.



Now if you look closely with a magnifying glass


or better still a Microscope.

or maybe if you're too far to see this, try one of this,



You can/could see clearly that, THAT WAS ME AT THE SIDE OF THE PICTURE!! YES YES ON THE LEFT OF THE PICTURE BY THE BAR!!

YES GUYS, THAT WAS ME!!

Ok, for those of you who just missed it, I'll post it up again. sigh...




I really did not know that these celebrity bloggers were doing the "all", taking pictures behind my back which clearly at the end of it all,

You just know it when you're not famous.

GOSH that sucks!!

New Header with centralized problem

FINALLY I HAVE A NEW HEADER!!

Its about time I have a new header. I've been staying up quite awhile adjusting my header playing around with HTML (something that i should be very well versed) and I noticed that I have not been able to put the picture into the middle. (I'm pretty sure you notice it right).



*Gosh!!Tell me about it for someone who graduated from IT!!* Sad case really!!

Well can somebody out there help me on this?I need to catch up on my sleep right now to ummm for work tomorrow? For your information, if you're wondering who doesn't make money out from blogs, I am one of them.


Anyway, back to my new header.



What do you think?OKAY I KNOW!!I definitely did not put much effort into my new header!!

I KNOW I KNOW!!

But what do you expect from a guy who create drawings like this a few weeks ago just to go for a party?


Now some of you must be wondering how did I come about this picture (header)?

Its 2am right now. How do you think I came about this picture!!

Caprice - Dem Girls

This is what happens when American Culture influences Malaysian Culture over the years?



What do you think?

The next Malaysian Chingy?


Kampung last time where got talk girls like dat one!


What the hell happened to Joget!



Ok seriously guys!!You should watch it!

*mind you i think it was good!Way to go Malaysian!!*

Maybe Next Nuffnang Party should include a performance as well from C-A-P-R-I-C-E!!!

This is Live about Nuffnang Wild Live Blogging Party (Part 2)

Ok guys here is another live post!!

I am going to tell you whats happening right now!!LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!

I am not playing a PSP that i was supposed to. (I mean what in the words "I have worked too hard for it and lost too much" that they do not understand!!!)



Lucky that fellar did not stay around i tell you!!My car was ready already!!*just joking ok man!we're cool!you deserve it whoever you are*

Also I am without a free Dell XPS Laptop (ok does not take a genius to figure this one out that I really do not deserve it or even worthy of it)


So really, at the end of the day, like many other dinners that I go to where the most I bring back is at least a small butter cake wrapped nicely which is already left on the dinner table for guests to take back home that says Thank you for coming,



you must be wondering what did i bring back from the party at the end of the day.

Memories guys!!Memories!!

I may have missed the recent Pyjama Party



and I may have missed the Pirate Party



But

I HAVE BEEN TO THE NUFFNANG WILD LIVE BLOGGING PARTY!!

With that, I guess I only have pictures of that night to share with you guys. Here are the rest of the pictures with the bloggers.

First the entrance just like any movie or music awards.


Civilized Animal Conversation. ummmm....


Had to take with the Bunny


Other animals that were there


Umm i think this is suppose to be a Kangaroo


umm cow and another rabbit i think


WenQi and Suet Li


Picture of some girls there


A picture with Pink Pau


Ok she's fourfeetnine, I'm fivefeeteleven. We're not of the same height!


The Lioness on the right won the Dell XPS Laptop



At the end of the day, I finally met, Batwoman. What took you so long to fly here!!

Tunnels.

Perhaps one of the most frightening things about This is how I never know when the next big Incident will happen. You're holding steady, drinking up the waters by a quiet stream, growing fresh leaves into a new season, when suddenly, an Incident happens and you're thrown off course. A forest fire erupts, caused once again by an unexpected trigger- and you're left burning, burning.

You're burning down, a cindering matchstick smoking into ashes, an embarrassingly extravagant display burning, burning down in shame and agony.


It's a very real phase of Recovery, having to journey through twists and turns. You've been making good progress, but when an Incident breaks out, again, unexpectedly, it can leave you so utterly discouraged and hopeless. The worst part is, the most serious triggers come so unexpectedly, and they're caused by the most well-meaning of people who don't or are unable to understand the illness, and yet demand you explain your absolute helplessness to them.

You've been struggling so hard yourself to accept that it is an Illness, and not some profane bout of insanity. But they're demanding you to explain yourself- and I'm reminded of what the doctors told me, "Tell them you can't tell someone with pneumonia to stop coughing. It's an illness- just like pneumonia."

Perhaps what makes it so hard in its own way is how This is not like pneumonia, or an amputation, or cancer- you don't have a purulent cough, a missing limb or hair loss to suggest you are suffering from a medical ailment, and that you need rest and sensitivity to what you're going through.

The thing I've learnt about Recovery is how much support one actually requires. I kept thinking I could do this on my own, with help from the Professional People, but little did I realise how pertinent and necessary support from one's loved ones is. The challenge is, this takes a lot of trial and error because not everyone understands. But we hold on, and I've been blessed to have loved ones who try so hard to support, help and love me, and I celebrate in gratitude the little victories which do come our way.


While I watched the tree burning down into charcoal ash, I heard the dark voice of death beckon by the roadside. It grew stronger and stronger and it was seductive. There were speeding cars and bright headlights at midnight, and the voice sounded hypnotically familiar. For a brief moment, it wrapped around me and called me by name, and I was emboldened by a dark voice to do the unthinkable- the unthinkably stupid.


If I had not known God, my life would have been over. It would have been the third time- that was how bad it was. One moment's darkness and folly is all it takes.


But the more we know God, the more these thoughts and seductions become ludicrous, incredulous, and we reject them, though they are very, very real and within our reach. Our lives have been bought with the price God paid for us. They are not our own possessions to take.


As I lay my head on your shoulder at church, with tears streaming down my cheeks, from my eyes swollen from crying the previous night, I asked you softly and in desperation if I would ever get better. You said yes. Yes, because God heals, because He does miracles. I've already come this far, and I believed you, even though I was crying, still, because He's done miracles for me before, is in the process of doing a miracle even now.


That night, as I dragged my tired feet home, away from the glare of the harsh streetlights and honking night racers, and lay my head on God's word, I imagined how it seemed as if I had reached the end of a dark, dark tunnel. I knew where to go- it was forwards. But it seemed as if I had hit a wall, that there were no more places to go and that Ed was winning.


Have you ever felt like you'd hit a wall too? As if you knew where to go, but that you could no longer move forward because you'd hit a dead-end?

It can be difficult to trust in what we cannot see, especially when we can't see a hope and a future for ourselves. But even in the darkness of a seeming dead-end, we need to Persevere, press on with a pick-axe and believe in a way out with all of our hearts.

If God's given us the direction in His word, He will take us through to the very end. He will always give us what we need- a tiny headlamp, a retractable ladder, and a trusty pick-axe.

May we always remind ourselves, that in every trial and tribulation, we need to Persevere and trust in God, in His goodness and the hope He has for our futures... because there is always a way out of the tunnel. A tunnel always leads somewhere.

Tunnels connect us from one phase of life to the next, one stage to another. They never end by themselves- they are tunnels, linkways for a reason.

And we mustn't give up too soon, because we could just be this close to a way out...

... This close to a new breakthrough.

" ... And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverence; and perserverence, character; and character, hope.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. "

- Romans 5:3-5

"Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty..."

-At the Foot of the Cross

This is Live At Nuffnang Wild Live Blogging Party

If you're wondering whether I actually managed to roar my way to Nuffnang Wild Live Blogging Party since my recent post after being sucked dry by Mosquitoes the size of your hand,

believe me if you felt the same way as that guy, it was real back in the Jungle!

contracted a Virus(not too bad at least I was still alive)


Sleepless nights



Psychological effects of never going to the jungle again,



Destroyed Suzuki Vitara after going through the jungle,


and Singlehood since my gf left me for going to the jungle for doing something stupid rather than spending time with her in a shopping mall carrying her handbag,



I WAS INVITED FOR THE PARTY!!!

If there was anything that I wouldn miss in this world, it would be this Nuffnang Wild Live Blogging Party that I've worked too hard for it and lost too much!!

And guess what, here I am. (Obviously, they would only admit one person a post into this party since they would expect that alot of people would be single after their escapade going through jungles like me)



THIS IS LIVE GUYS!!!THIS IS A LIVE POST!!

(No problem in making live posts with Maxis Wireless Broadband. I mean looks at this!!)



Now the party was held at Modestos/Rain, Desa Sri Hartamas.



Unlike the jungle where you have no specific direction to go to find Animals, Nuffnang has been able to provide a map to the place.


Now you must be wondering since my car was destroyed, how the hell could I possibly come to this animal gathering from as far as Penang!

well behold, MY Pajero!!(just parked it at the Modestos Car Park)


If anybody, I mean ANYBODY who is going to snatch away my PSP, please i mean please, if you do see a huge Pajero behind the ass of your car or for you that matter, YOU BETTER HAND THAT PSP OVER TO HIM!!! (His not going to go back empty handed after going through all the torture his gone through to get him here) Getting out of the car park is not going to be that easy for you!!

Ok back to LIVE with the Nuffnang Wild Live Blogging Party!

So if you're wondering whether the animals from Madagascar


and Kungu Panda would meet, they were all here!!



I mean gosh!! If there was any jungle with animals i would go to, this was definitely the place!!


IT WAS HOT!!!

Lots of Chicks (Gosh i was true isn't it about my narrow mindedness in my previous post)


Had to take with the chicks!!


Famous Blogger Celebrities were everywhere, it felt like I was in the MTV Movie Awards!!

Ok that's klubbkidd that differenciates himself from the other gorillas by the piercing of this tongue

That is Suet Li


Boss Stewie and Cheesie


The Only Elephant

A picture with Ringo

The rest of the girls over there

Then if you're wondering that there was just one gorilla in this party, there were 4 gorillas!!Crazy Fellars!!

All in all, if you have watched Lion King 1 and 2.

THIS GATHERING IS LION KING 3!!!I am really having a good time now. Being served Beer and well Ais Limau. In the next 2 hours, they will be handing out prizes (PSP) for the best "Live" Post. Please guys! I am really worth considering if you feel the pain that i've gone through just to come and enjoy with you guys.

Oh yeah if you're wondering how I came, I came as Batman.

Yeah i know I am a party pooper.